Trigger warning: Brief mention of rape in reference to misogyny
This post was inspired by two things this week. The first was a feminist post which was shared by a Facebook page I follow which had an image with the words “I’m a feminist and NO I don’t hate men.” The second thing was a post by atchka, “World’s Tinist Violin —,” and the reaction that it got on reddit.
As to the first. I’m a feminist. This shouldn’t really surprise anyone who reads my posts regularly. However, I’m not overly fond of men in general. Unfortunately, I’ve been in a position my entire life of being abused by men. I’ve been physically abused, I’ve been sexually abused, and I’ve been emotionally/psychologically abused. Eventually, a distrust of your abuser and your oppressor becomes a learned response. In other words, you become wary of men, not intentionally, but because of an almost Pavlovian response to systematic oppression and abuse. I said as much on this image and the response I got was decidedly aggressive, abusive, and misogynistic (I should add that the response did come from a man).
I’ll say this right now. You have the right to be angry at your oppressors and the privileged group(s) that they belong to.
Trigger warning: Detailed discussion of disordered eating.
I have been reading the progress of Shaunta and her Eating the Food experiment and it has inspired me to my own experiment.
My experiment has been nothing so structured as hers, which is partly why I haven’t written about it yet. Also, I fail more than I succeed so far.
Trigger warning: Eating disorders, diet talk and assholes.
When I first started blogging about Fat Acceptance in 2009, I made the clever decision to begin by immediately pissing off everybody. As I recall, there was only one other guy writing on the subject, but unlike him, I had zero experience with feminism outside of my preconceived notions of what feminism meant. As a result, I said shit that pissed off many feminists and then, as I tried to understand their perspective by asking questions, I pissed them off even more.
I felt a deep-seeded frustration because I was honestly trying to understand, but when I didn’t frame things properly or when I used indelicate phrasing or when I stated a forceful opinion, I was subjected to the white-hot flames of social justice purgatory. And it sucked.
It sucked because nobody likes to be flame-roasted when they are just trying to understand why their views are so offensive. But the very act of asking questions offended people, since I could just as easily have Googled my questions, found a preexisting blog post on the subject and learned on my own. Of course, from my entitled perspective, I was thinking “Yeah, but if you want me to agree with you then why don’t you just answer the question and I can get on with the work of understanding?” The answer, of course, is that nobody is under obligation to educate my ignorant ass.
Trigger warning: Discussion of weight loss surgery and its consequences.
I don’t remember where I saw “WLS: Not everyone lives happily ever after” (I’ve slept since then and my memory is shot, another complication from that failed weight loss surgery (WLS) I had in September of 1997), but my first thought on seeing the headline was “No shit, Sherlock, what was your first fucking clue?”