Disney for the Unseen
Come enjoy the Magic Kingdom, just don't use a scooter!
Sadly, I’ve not been as prolific around here as I would have liked recently .
Call it lazy, call it spread too thin; whatever you call it the results are the same.
Most of you know that I took off on a long vacation a few weeks ago and I’m just now shaking off my post fun and frolic fugue enough to process some of the things I saw.
For those not in the know I’ll quickly bring you up to date.
I sped quickly through the night destroying all land speed records to arrive in Florida with three kids, my mother and a car full of unbridled excitement to take the Magic Kingdom and other assorted parks by storm.
In the spirit of full disclosure I will cop to being a professional Disney goer since childhood with visits in the high double digits and an unfading enthusiasm for all things involving the mouse.
This time however I noticed a strange undercurrent running through repeated conversations I overheard while on line for obscene amounts of time and while walking through the parks.
Some serious fat bias and hatred. I’m talking seething anger and uncalled for remarks.
Usually, I am blissfully unaware, listening only to the pre-existing piped in soundtrack that is there to magnify the intense gleeful pleasure of my experience, but I took notice of some seriously UN-Disney like behavior from some of the GUESTS sharing the parks with me this time.
I was horrified to hear the huge amount of collective bitching about the number of wheelchair and scooter bound people trying to enjoy themselves with their families. This vitriol came from a bunch of angry, hurried, vicious meanies who assumed that the reason a majority of these wheelchair and scooter bound folks were on wheels was because they were fat and lazy.
Nevermind that one family I sat next to in Epcot felt the need to keep apologizing and explaining to everyone on the Universe of Energy that their dad had just had hip replacement surgery and needed to rest on a bench instead of the floor when he got out of his wheelchair. Not one fucking able-bodied young person got off their asses to help this poor man or his family but instead spent time tsk tsking and whispering about his “fat ass” and shaking their heads.
My mother, for all her insanity, was the voice of reason and gently removed my three kids from their lofty bench perch to offer this poor guy a seat before he had to leave the ride. His tearful daughter actually gave her a hug. Way to give an assist Sandy.
I was also aghast at the sneers and eye rolling that went on at the endless buffet style dinners we typically gorge ourselves on while moving guerrilla style through the day. It was beyond comprehensible to me that the happiest place on earth was now populated by a bunch of fast-walking, take-no-prisoners rude assholes who would sooner kill you than let you have a second helping on your plate. It was as bad as my old commute to work but with more anger and better running shoes.
These people were running over small children, the elderly, the slow and the wheelchair and scooter bound and they took no prisoners.
I had my VERY fidgety five-year old perched on my shoulders while waiting to board Small World when the line stopped moving for a few minutes.
At Disney you are going to wait in line and you are probably going to be there for a long time so you need to mentally prepare yourself and let it all go.
It became clear that the ride operators had slowed the speed of the arriving boats to accommodate a woman in a scooter and her husband who were entering on the handicapped ramp. The horrific man behind me actually started HECKLING them, screaming out “I’ve been on line for an hour and that fat ass rolls right up and gets on because they are too lazy to walk the park?!”
Even more nightmarish?
He had people agreeing with him.
I thought back to the year we brought my fiery Sicilian Nana to the park and she had to use a wheelchair to get around. I remember her nearly decapitating my aunt when she merely suggested that the chair was the only way to go for someone her age.
Pride and her inflated sense of worry about how others would perceive her nearly kept her from renting one, but once her mobility device was rolling she quickly got on board with no waiting and preferential treatment.
Because she was the stately grey matriarchal queen of our clan with an acid tongue and withering demeanor, it meant that no one dared heckle her.
But that poor gal on Small World trying to board with her husband could have been my Nana, and that made me MAD because no one fucks with my Nana — even if she is dead.
Finally one of my kids cut the tension in the air by asking why everyone was being so mean. I said nothing, but my mother; who is never without the proper words for a smack down, turned to her and said quite clearly “because they are assholes honey.”
And so, we boarded our boat and sang the song but honestly, the weird aftertaste of witnessing such bad behavior lingered for a while.
Ya know, based on your previous stories about your mom, I didn’t like her.
Now, I want to take her out for drinks. She’s fucking awesome!
And what the fuck is wrong with people? It’s like the whole world has contracted a serious case of D-Bagitis.
I think there should be some kind of rule that if you’re an asshole at Disney World, then you have to wear a Grumpy costume the rest of the day.
Wouldn’t that be fucking awesome? A park full of Grumpies too hot and miserable and muffled to hear their whining and complaining?
Oh, and kids would be free to kick them all they wanted.
Peace,
Shannon
I’m in San Diego right now, and at Sea World we’ve seen a lot of people in wheelchairs or other mobility devices. None of them have been fat. All of them have attracted mutters and angry looks.
I wonder if we are just becoming an incredibly impatient nation.
I think it’s a combination of impatience, entitlement and good old fashioned mean.
I’m not sure why ten extra seconds on line would make people so crazed but there are some things I’ll never understand.
What’s really funny is that the strollers with kids in them pose as much of a problem as any mobility device but you don’t really hear as much collective bitching about that.
I bitch WAY more about strollers than anyone on a mobility device.
But quietly, where the entitlement monsters taking up the ENTIRE AISLE with their push cart progeny don’t hear me complaining about them. Because I am polite like that.
Welcome Harriet, glad you’re here.
It seems like the level of snark has risen dramatically. If you can cut someone down with a quick, pithy bite, then you’re seen as a modern day Oscar Wilde. Except nobody is that witty or selective. They just unleash on anybody anywhere for anything that might be perceived as snark-worthy. It’s really depressing.
Peace,
Shannon
I blame the 24 hour news stations for that…
My mother can be one crazy mo fo but when she sees injustice or wrong doing the caped crusader of right comes out.
I can’t believe more people didn’t try to cage my youngest considering he was more trouble than all the mean people in Disney put together. He was like a spider monkey on crack.
He even punched Goofy in the balls by accident.
Welcome to the(real and unvarnished) U.S. That behavior is one huge undercurrent of American culture. There is no worse nation.
It just makes me sad though.
I’ve never gone out of my way to be hurtful or mean to anyone in my entire life and I can’t imagine why anyone else would either.
I agree with Shannon about the Grumpy suit. Fifteen minutes inside that infernal death trap in 99 degree heat with kids kicking your shins might be enough to change the ways of a few assholes.
That just makes me sad.
I’ve noticed the same thing at WalMart and the grocery store though, people are downright hostile and bitch about people using the carts. My mother-in-law absolutely refuses to use them because of the comments, and shopping used to be one of the only places she went. She is large, but also has other health problems and mobility issues from an auto accident which make it hard for her to walk unassisted. Rather than use a mobility device and be heckled for it, she has pretty much confined herself to the house because of the assholes and their remarks.
It’s crap like this that fills me with rage. People have no idea what effect their thoughtless comments have on people. So long as *I* think it’s funny or deserved, then I can say whatever the fuck I want.
Okay, I have to go dump some cold water on my head before I punch my computer screen. Sorry your mom surrendered to the assholes. I hope she finds some other way to enjoy getting out of the house.
Peace,
Shannon
It’s amazing to me sometimes that people can even summon up the energy to insult others like this.
First of all it takes balls of steel for me to even say something in my own defense if someone is being hurtful to me or my family so I can’t imagine what kind of nerve it must require to be the insulter.
It probably has something to do with a lot of pent up hatred with regards to a number of personal issues that get spewed out like venom at the rest of the world.
No one should ever NOT go out because of the misdirected anger of crazy people.
Jesus, now I’m wondering if I even want to go to Valley Fair next month with my husband, DIL, and 3 teenagers (I’ll have to use one of those mobility carts if we get there early enough to snag one, or I’ll have to use my huge-ass walker with the seat on it). Valley Fair is offering free entry to current and retired military personnel, and reduced prices to immediate family members – DH loves Valley Fair and the rides, and so does my DIL (and you know teenagers and theme parks), so we planned on going. I don’t know if I’m up for having to get nasty back at people I hear making those kinds of comments (because I won’t be silent and take it, fuck that shit). I’ve never had to deal with that kind of hatred when using the mobility carts at W-Mart or Target or K-Mart (guess I’ve been lucky), but to think that people think they can get away with that kind of crap in a venue where everyone is supposed to be having fun – that just boggles my mind. Hopefully, MN isn’t as bad for the fat-hatred as other places – Maude knows I’ve seen a lot of fat women running around up here, wearing what they want, doing what they want, and no one seems to comment on it much at all.
Don’t let the haters hold you back, Vesta. That’s how they win… just like the terrorists.
And MN strikes me as a pretty damned cool state. They’re one of the few that actually has anti-discriminatory laws on the books for fat people. Plus, Mystery Science Theater comes from Minneapolis. So, it’s a damned fine state, IMO.
Peace,
Shannon
Fuck that Vesta. You go and have fun. Run over the sandal clad feet of anyone in need of an attitude adjustment.
Life is too freaking short and the angries will always have SOMETHING to bitch about.
If it’s not a mobility device in their way, it’s that horrible lady who took the last tater tot at the all you can eat buffet at Disney Studios.
In my own defense, I got there first and won it fair and square so take that mean lady.
You got the Minnesota Nice going on up there… that might help.
And this right here? This is why I can’t make myself leave the house alone anymore. As long as my husband is with me I can get through normal everyday things like shopping, going to the zoo or the library or what have you. Alone? Hell no.
And it started as a simple desire to avoid being humiliated by comments like this (and the barnyard noises of course) in public. Now it’s become basically so entrenched that just the thought of going out in public without my husband makes me feel physically ill.
Even with him there are some things I can’t make myself do, no matter how much I want to. Swimming for example… I *love* swimming. I have a pool pass. My husband has REPEATEDLY asked when I want to use it. I just can’t make myself do it, the thought alone makes me start feeling ill and shaking.
Everyone is always telling me to just get over it, don’t care what they think, ignore them etc. I’m just not wired that way. Heck, I wonder what I did to offend people whenenever some complete stranger I have never spoken to even once unfriends me on Facebook. Oversensitive yes, but just because you know that what you’re feeling is wrong doesn’t mean you can magically change yourself to not care about it.
Erin, that is horrible.
But I agree that there is very little you can do to make yourself immune to the sting of hateful people. I don’t think you are oversensitive, I think you are completely human and honest.
The one positive thing I can report and have done some research on is that Disney itself has been very proactive in helping guests with finding and renting mobility devices and providing delivery of these devices if needed. They’ve also made adjustments to several theme park rides for people who can’t fit in an ungodly 18″ space when they board one of the many attractions.
I called customer service and the hotel I stayed at on the grounds to inquire about such things and they were ready, willing and able to help me have a “magical” stay no matter what my physical limitations were.
So BOOYAH! Disneyworld.
Erin S. –
I completely relate with the not wanting to go out thing. We live in a particularly poor neighborhood and I have been heckled on the street about my weight by crazies and crackheads. It’s very unsettling.
I don’t like dealing with strangers. And I’ve gotten used to having a wonderful husband that goes with me everywhere. Over the last 10 years I haven’t had to be as courageous and making myself face the world on my own.
On the other hand, the way I get over my discomfort about people looking at me is through defiance. Usually in the form of pink hair. I pretty much dare them to make fun of me, cause at least then it’s on my terms. I’m not saying this will work for you but it works for me.
Erin – It’s very hard to get over caring what other people think. For the longest time, I wouldn’t go swimming, even though I love it. Then I met and married Mike, and he’s one of those men who says “Who cares what they think, they can eat shit and bark at the moon for all I care.” I still don’t go swimming at beaches or public pools where there are a lot of people, but when we go to visit my son and DIL and get a motel room, I swim in the motel pool ALL the time. And I don’t care what those people think, mainly because I don’t know them and probably won’t ever see them again (and if they would ever get nasty to me, Mike would put them in their place pretty quick if I didn’t). I’ll admit, it took him some time to get me to even try swimming in the motel pool, but I’m glad he did. It helps that he’s always with me, and we usually have my DIL and at least 2 or 3 or more of the grandkids/nieces with us.
I worry sometimes that me noticing stuff like this is either about getting older or being an activist.
As you get older it’s harder to ignore the crappy stuff in the world, just becasue of the sheer amount of experiences you’ve had. And, as an activist, I’m tuned into the subject that I’m passionate about.
On the flip side of that, the reason I got into FA was becasue I noticed a change towards us fatties. And I can trace the change back to the late nineties and the declaration of an “obesity epidemic.”
So, I tend to think that things ARE worse than they used to be, but that they’re also not quite as bad as I feel like they are.
Separate from trying to keep some sort of perspective, what your describing is still total bullshit. And it certainly doesn’t make me feel good about humanity. The fact that people can be so casually mean and judgmental to strangers is just wrong.
And it personally hurts and offends me that the anti-fat AND pro-health agenda in the US have lead to people feeling comfortable about being heartless.
If people want to get on the rides faster, PAY THE FUCKING MONEY TO GET THE FAST PASS. I hate people. Don’t heckle people act like rude children. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH?!
OMG I HATE PEOPLE.
Quick, somebody give Sarah a hug, she’s on the verge of a misanthropic meltdown!
Peace,
Shannon
They don’t even have to pay for fast pass. It’s completely free if you go ahead and insert your park ticket so the fact that these people probably already knew that and didn’t do it may have added to how mean they were.
Self hatred usually comes out as misdirected anger towards others.
I will say that he looked completely embarassed after my kid inquired about all the mean comments and my mother gave her “assholes” answer. He shut right the hell up and didn’t say another word but c’mon we were about to board a ride where thousands of little multicultural dolls were singing a song about acceptance and diversity and how small this world really is so we better get along.
I hope his boat ride made him reflect on how foul he had been acting and he went home a changed man.
I’m guessing about halfway through the ride he was all like, “Hey, what’s with all these brown puppets? Dad-blamed terrorist puppets!”
Peace,
Shannon
My sons and niece went to Disney this week with their grandparents. Their grandfather, a small, impatient frail man took three teenagers to all three parks. I don’t know how he had the patience. They admit to driving their grandmother crazy. No one of them commented about rude people. Apparently, people are patient for old slow moving people if they happen to be small.
I wonder if anytime an asshole at a Disney park dished out some fat hate… that everyone in earshot, whipped out a camcorder with a graphic/sign that said something like, “Help Us Find America’s Biggest Asshole” and began interviewing them about their fat hatred.
If I had a closet filled with cash, I’d bankroll a trip with Shannon to hunt down these ignorant haters so we cold ambush them on video.
Thanks for the vote of confidence Ivan, but I’m probably braver online than IRL. Who you really want on your team is my wife. She can make a grown person cry with a few well-placed verbal jabs. I’ve seen her pissed and would not want to be on the receiving end.
Peace,
Shannon
Being an international guest…I try to go to Disney World at least once a year! And I have noticed how both the ‘guests’ and ‘cast members’ have changed dramatically for the worse! I had the rare opportunity to go through the orientation of the Disney College experience and I know how a cast member should act and the majority of them do not go by the Disney rules of how to treat a guest!! Then add the meanness and uncouth actions of the other guests just brings down the Disney experience… way down! But then you find that gem of a cast member or guest that helps you remember that there are those that go to Disney or work for Disney that truly love the parks and the people who come to enjoy themselves to a place that ‘should’ be the happiest place on earth! ;? But I will continue to go back ‘home’ to Disney every year till I do not experience the magic anymore! And as long as Disney continues to ‘grow’ and continue to expand the magic I will be there! And yes I am a ‘HUGE’ Disney guest both in spirit and size!! ;P