Birds of a Feather
I will probably never be an FA activist in the way that we normally think of FA activism, but I and others have a role to play too. Over the course of 2010, I have regained 30 pounds that I had recently lost. At first, I was mad at myself and depressed and kept thinking, “I would give anything to be back at 225 again” … but then I realized something — 30 pounds ago when I was 225, I was still unhappy with my body and was full of self-hatred. It began to dawn on me, losing weight wasn’t the solution to my problem… loving myself was the answer I had been looking for.
Self-acceptance (and more importantly, self-love) has not been an easy road for me to travel. For 20+ years, self-hatred was my proxy, so changing the way I think and feel about my body has been a work in progress. This journey has not been beneficial just for me, but for all those around me. I, for one, hate cliches but goddamn if there isn’t truth to each one of them, including birds of a feather flock together.
I have a pretty large social network and, when I think of all my girlfriends, 85% (at the very least) are self body haters and are known to make comments such as “I am so fat and ugly”; “My body is so disgusting”; and the like.
Through my journey of Fat Acceptance, not only have I learned more about the movement and self-acceptance, but so have my friends and family. Every time a friend makes a fat-hating comment, I speak up. Every time a friend talks to me about diets, I speak up. Every time a friend or family member equates fat with unhealthy, I speak up. More importantly, I am learning to love my body and to accept it for exactly what it is… and the people around me have taken notice. And although I cannot take full credit, I have seen changes in some of my girlfriends who were self-fat-haters since I began my journey.
There’s more than one way to be an activist… and for now, I’ve found mine. To lead by example. So here’s to FA activism, Roxy-style!
Leading by example can be one of the best things we do for ourselves and our friends/families. It helps them and reinforces for us that we are worthwhile, just as we are.
This reminds me of the old Christian adage: Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary, use words.
As they say, actions speak louder than words and your own journey acts as a beacon for others to follow. Keep it up!
Peace,
Shannon
Every single bit of visibility and challenged thinking goes a long way. Your role is just as important as a table thumping, full-blown FA evangelist!
That’s exactly what I’m starting to realize @sleepydumpling, vesta and atchka!!! Actions can be a pretty powerful statement.
Roxy-
I think starting a journey of self acceptance of our bodies, in this culture that encouraged body shame, is not only an act of defiance it’s also activism.
Leading by example is exactly the reason WHY I think the definition of Fat Activism should include loving ourselves. How better to start a subversive change of the world view than by each of us trying to know that we deserve better?
Even if you NEVER said anything to family and friends, it’s so much harder to put up with people putting you down when you appreciate yourself. Even a disproving look or a roll of the eyes when another person says something negative about the way you or they look, can change the atmosphere of body shame.
Especially in this context, I think self-esteem can be the first step on a path to changing our world.
@elizabeth… i should just start telling you what I’m feeling and have you write it b/c it comes out so much better when you say it! I couldn’t agree more with your comment!!!
Well done, Roxy. I’m still working myself up to speaking out to friends and family, so I think you’re very brave.
@Heather J, it wasn’t easy… let me tell you! Earlier this year, I was contemplating saying nothing to anyone about my journey (especially to my mom)… but I found at least that the further I got to self acceptance, the more I was like “screw you” when someone said something that was ignorant or rude about my body. It’s a process, that’s for sure!