Ultimate Loser —
We all feared this day would come.
I know, I know… this is hard. If this is the first you’ve heard of it, you’re probably overwhelmed with emotion. But have a seat, relax and take a tissue.
We’re gonna get through this.
Where, oh where, to begin.
First of all, she’s not doing this to broaden her image or capitalize on her brand (of course not!), she’s doing it to start a family:
Michaels is setting her sights on doing charity work, motivational speaking, a talk show and promoting her new book, “Unlimited,” but the main reason for leaving is because the 37-year-old wants to start a family.
In fact, Michaels is so serious about becoming a mom she is currently knee deep in the process of adopting a child from Africa.
In fact, she wants everyone to know the not only is she a loving and caring caregiver, but that she’s so loving that before she’s even begun raising one kid, she’s thinking about another:
Yet despite the hard-hitting persona Michael portrays on the hit series, off-screen she’s a big softy who confesses, “When I see the end of my life I see family around me and that is where my heart is right now.”
So much so, that while Michaels is busy preparing to enter the sorority of motherhood, she is already thinking about adopting a second child from the United States.
Now, I try not to judge the motivations of others because, let’s face it, people are fucked up and pegging anyone with a single motivation is a craps shoot at best. But anyone who says that the reason they choose to adopt is to preserve their finely toned body strikes me as a tad selfish to be a parent. In her defense, she later claimed that she was referring to her endometriosis, not the ruination of her hard-earned hardness.
And nevermind the complicated issues surrounding tranracial adoptions, nevermind the effect these adoptions have on the adoptees country of origin, neverind the fact that celebrities adopting African children has become “a trend”… the things Jillian says regarding the adoption itself are troubling.
“I want to start a family,” she told Access Hollywood. “I’d like to take a year off of television and really focus on – I’m in the middle of the adoption process – and really focus on that and hopefully becoming a mother in the next year and putting all my energy into that for a while. And then back to TV later in 2012.”
She makes adopting a child sound like a side project to distract her from the every day stress of the celebrity life.
“For a while”? Really?
I mean, I could care less how people raise their kids. Raising children is challenging (that’s a nice way of putting it) and, if you’re doing it right, will sap your energy and attention for some 18+ years. How people cope with being a single parent, or even a two-parent household with a limited income, is amazing to me. Hell, I consider the fact that our children are still healthy and alive a minor miracle.
And I completely understand that non-parents have no clue* what kind of commitment, in terms of time and energy, is required of being a good parent. But recall that this is the woman who, in reference to adopting a living, breathing human child actually said, “when you rescue something, it’s like rescuing a part of yourself.”
Now, aside from the sheer fucked-up-edness of adopting a child in order to rescue yourself, we’ve also got the potential for her raising a child with some form of eating or body image disorder. But, she’s getting out in front of that and reassuring people:
“My kid will have coconut organic ice-cream. They will eat nothing with hormones and antibiotics. I am not going to let my kid eat poison, but yeah, they can have high-calorie snacks too.”
I found an interesting corrolary on this article, where the interviewer asked, “When you see people eating brownies or loading up their grocery cart with Oreos, do you want to shake them by the shoulders and scream at them?” Jillian’s response seems almost measured:
It’s never sweets. It’s not that that gets me. What does get me is when I see people eating stuff that I know is so bad for them, like anything with trans fats or high fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners. I just want to say, ‘Oh my God, do you have any idea? That’s going to give you cancer, heart disease, cognitive dysfunction.’ That’s what frustrates me, is the lack of knowledge people have about the quality of the food they are eating.
So, I looked into this coconut organic ice cream that Jillian has absolved my children’s guilt from eating and found one called Luna and Larry’s Coconut Bliss, which sounds delightful.
Problem is, it’s $6.69 a pint.
That’s $53.52 a gallon.
You know, if the treats you allow your children to have cost 10 times more than unleaded gasoline, I think you may have unrealistic expectations for the average, 9-to-5 parent. And if you say things like, yeah, my kid can have high-calorie snacks, but stipulate that it has to be organic and HFCS-free, then you’re basically setting parents up for failure.
Oh yeah, high-calorie snacks are fine for kids, so long as you can afford the right kind.
And Jillian can definitely afford the right kind. She’s made millions promoting the false claim that our bodies are nothing more than energy-burning machines:
As we’ve said, weight loss is all about calories in and calories out. Exercise is the best way to get those calories “out” and finally burn fat. Exercise, of course, is the cornerstone of Jillian’s online program.
Then, she turns around and makes another who-knows-how-many-millions by shilling a whole host of products to “help” with Calories In/Calories Out: fat burners, cleanse and burn kits, calorie control pills, rapid weight loss pills, probiotic replenishment, appetite suppressants, and, of course, Acai berry.
Oh, and just announced this morning: the Jillian Michaels Collection by K-Swiss.
So, yeah, Jillian can afford to let her kids indulge in coconut ice cream, while the rest of us should be ashamed of the poison we’re feeding our kids at four bucks a gallon.
But Jillians message has never been about consistency or accessability… it has always been about making the impossible seem possible. She has built her brand around convincing people that the astounding results achieved in “The Biggest Loser” is a simple lifestyle choice… a lifestyle choice that requires working out four hours a day with a personal trainer and having your meals prepared by a professional team of nutritionists.
And on top of that, intentionally or not, she encourages exercise bulimia and eating disorders, and at least one contestant believes her participation on the show induced an actual eating disorder. We know she gets some kind of sadistic pleasure from pushing contestants beyond the limits of health and safety until they’re puking in a corner, then pushing them to go further.** And we know that her favorite form of motivation is verbal and emotional abuse.
So, she has built an empire on lies and abuse, and scored a spin-off series for her hateful brand of “motivation,” which, thankfully got such atrocious ratings that a second season is highly doubtful.
The damage this woman has done to body image and the concept of health cannot be underestimated. She has meticulously modeled her life story, that she overcame a fat childhood to become the slim and trim GoDaddy girl*** she is today (aka the “I did it and so can you!” steaming pile of bovine feces), and woven bullshit into gold.
Regardless of the veracity of such claims, she uses her own flimsy bootstrap story to send countless gullible and desperate fatties on a neverending quest for thinness that will no doubt become a lifetime of dangerous weight cycling for many.
Granted, in this society, earning the kind of scratch Jillian pulls in makes her a “success,” but when you really look at what she has done and said, what she plans to do, and what we can expect from her in the future… financial success or not, the dishonesty and hatefulness that helped her get to this point makes Jillian Michaels the biggest loser of them all.
*With obvious exceptions for people who have helped raise siblings or children that weren’t their legal responsibility.
**Keeping in mind that one of Jillian’s signature catch phrases is “Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!”
***A multi-million dollar deal according to sources.