Trigger warning WLS
A while back I blogged about two of my married friends (we will call them Steve and Sue) undergoing weight loss surgery (WLS). I talked to them about the dangers, the side effects, and so on, but they both just brushed me aside, claiming that my stats were old and, besides, “our doctor knows what he’s doing.”
I blogged about my discomfort with the whole thing and how I best can support them. He got his surgery in September. She got hers in February. They did NOT get the reversible lap band or gastric sleeve. They got the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass. So, they can’t just take it back. They can’t fix the problem they have created for themselves.
Why anybody would just CUT AWAY AN ORGAN just because they were fat is beyond me. But I digress.
Steve’s surgery went just fine. He’s not really experiencing any problems: no dumping, no puking, no ulcers. He’s lost over 100 pounds in 90 days and actually has enough energy to work and go to school. The problems started when she went for her surgery.
First off, Sue has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), so she has insulin and absorption issues to start with. Three weeks after her surgery, she had to have ANOTHER surgery to fix an ulcer. Then she had ANOTHER surgery this week for stapling issues.
And while she was going through all of this, her husband, Steve was dealing with being 100 pounds lighter… and getting hit on and flirted with. Since he’s not over 400 pounds anymore, he’s more acceptable and, since they have a fairly open relationship, he was flirting back. Finally, he walked out on her two weeks ago.
Between 65% and 80% of relationships that go through WLS end in divorce. That’s WAY higher than the average of 50%. At the same time, how can you leave someone when they are at their lowest?
And HE talked her into it — that’s the kicker. It was all his idea. All the WLS boards say it’s because the new, skinny person had “settled” for their former mate. Now that they are thin they think they “deserve better.”
Wow, so I guess deep down fatties are shallow too? I never, EVER settled for anyone I dated. And if I thought I was I stopped dating them.
She came to stay with us while he moved his stuff. She was here three days. She ate exactly one soup at hand. In three days. That sounds like medically induced anorexia to me.
She’s too scared to eat. It hurts her to eat. She feels dumping (when your pouch empties all at once into her intestines and makes you feel like you are gonna die) if she swallows anything bigger than a pea. She can’t have anything acidic to drink, can’t drink milk either. She doesnt have the energy to get up and shower, let alone move her things out of their former apartment.
She claims the surgery saved her life. I think it ruined hers. She is now out a husband, a place to live, a car, and cant keep food down.
But hey, she’s 60 pounds skinnier.
And at least I get her clothes.