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Hey-o!

February 7, 2013

Hello all! Yeah, I’ve been gone for a while, and a lot has happened in my life. But I’m so glad to be back and super happy to be writing for Fierce, Freethinking Fatties again!

So a little about why I was gone: my fiance moved from England to California in late November, and him being here collided with finals at school, moving from my little room downstairs to the master bedroom upstairs, planning a wedding on very short notice, and, you know, holidays. For those of you who don’t know, when someone moves to America on a fiance visa, you only have 90 days to get married. It was hectic to say the least.

I’m married now, though, happily. Our ceremony was at the county clerk’s office. I wore the only dress I could find, a silver one from Torrid, silver flats, and my mother’s perfume. My dad’s wife bought me a bouquet studded with sparklies. My husband wore black jeans, a matching silver/grey button down, and a black tie. He cried when he saw me in my dress.

Me and my husband about to be married.

Me and my husband about to be married.

The woman who married us was amazing and she seemed excited and happy to marry us even after marrying about six other couples that afternoon. My uncle took pictures, my mother cried, my father photobombed us a few times, and my brother was our witness. We cried, then we ate, and then we spent a few nights in a hotel. We swam a lot even though it was cold.

It wasn’t very expensive or posh or unique or exotic, but it was special, and I loved it.

We’re very happy and life’s finally settling down now.

So that’s enough about me and my life, let’s talk about some fat activism, yes? Yes!

So, aside from getting married, and painting and decorating our bedroom, I’ve also been getting back into the Fat Acceptance (FA) scene. I’m sure some/most/all of you know this, but there is a great FA crowd on Tumblr. This Is Thin Privilege is a great site with generally short blurbs about people’s experiences with discrimination based on their weight and/or body shapes.

(Trigger warning on this first example for talk of eating disorders.)

TiTp

 TiTp3

They are also wonderfully intersectional, pointing out white, cissexual, heterosexual, male, and other such privileges that show up with thin privilege, and how they work together.

TiTp2

These are just examples from the last few days that give a good feeling of what the blog’s about.

Of course they get hate, but the mods are quick-witted and sharp-tongued, and quick to shut down bigots and trolls. Every once in a while, the blog will discuss movies, books, etc. and how fat and fatness is represented or unrepresented.

This Is Thin Privilege can be depressing. It sucks to see and realize how people are treated differently on a day-to-day basis based on something as trivial as their size and shape. This Is Thin Privilege can also be really uplifting. Reading examples helps me to see the extent of discrimination towards me, personally, and I’m better able to fight it.

It really is a great, little blog, I think. It’s fat activism sliders (I’m fat, I had to use a food analogy) — turning over the system in bite-sized blurbs.

I love it.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2013 10:04 am

    Congratulations. You look lovely in that dress. x

  2. JeninCanada permalink
    February 7, 2013 12:21 pm

    Congratulations on ALL THE THINGS! For some reason, reading that your hubby cried when he saw you in that gorgeous dress, made me tear up too.
    Also, the The Is Thin Privilege tumblr rocks.

  3. Stephanie permalink
    February 7, 2013 1:04 pm

    Hi and congrats! I actually work in a bridal boutique that specializes in size 12 and up and love making my brides feel beautiful. I hate that so many curvy girls have such a hard time finding a dress and it’s not uncommon for a bride to be terrified that we’re going to fat shame her or not have anything she can try on. So glad you were able to find such a cute dress and I love the idea of a sparkly bouquet.

  4. Fab@54 permalink
    February 7, 2013 3:35 pm

    ALL the very very best!!! Congrats!

  5. violetyoshi permalink
    February 8, 2013 3:00 pm

    I would guard against anyone trying to practice fat acceptance on Tumblr. I was cyberbullied and cyberstalked by a person who felt I wasn’t, and this isn’t uncommon at all on there, thin shaming and thin bullying. That’s right, there is a site called It’s Okay to be Thin too, because thin people they really have it so hard. So, just if you go on there, be prepared to deal with fat hating cyberbullies, because Tumblr believes more in freedom of speech, than to be free from antagonistic fat hating cyberbullies.

    • LexieDi permalink
      February 19, 2013 3:56 pm

      This is true. Thinsplainers and thin people who feel like the fatties are oppressing them are common. I recently posted a few lines about how it sucks that I can’t find a cheap bathing suit but straight sized suits can be found fairly cheaply. It blew up. I don’t know why people cared so damn much about it, but they did.

      I have found a rather large fat activist community on Tumblr, however. And found a lot of people on there will have your back in a troll attack.

      I think whether or not fat-activisting on Tumblr is a good idea depends on the individual. But Violetyoshi has a great point and one that I should have mentioned in the original post– Tumblr has a great fat community, but Tumblr as a whole isn’t fat friendly.

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