Whenever I decide that it’s time to take a break from the thousands of hours of driving I do on a daily basis, there is usually a quick trip to the kitchen to grab a snack before the inevitable settling into the living room couch for a good sit down.
Except yesterday, when I started paging through the health section Time magazine and found out that I should be dropping dead any second now.
Another study has found that sitting for too long increases your risk for death. The study found that adults who sat for eleven hours or more a day had a 40% increased risk of dying in the next three years than those who sat for less than four hours a day.
Besides the fact that I can’t even imagine losing your life while being so comfortable, I was flabbergasted as I read further. It doesn’t even seem to matter that you spend hours at the gym. If you sit, you die.
I began to panic, then added up the number of hours I spend on my ass. I started thinking of all the great types of historic and awesome sitting; Sitting Bull, “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay,” Sit ‘n Spins, sit-in protests, sitting shiva — all of them… killing us.
I love sitting. Even after a long day of activity, there is nothing like kicking off your shoes and planting your aft end on a couch cushion.
But thanks in part to this research, there’s even some sort of movement to bring treadmill desks into this conversation.
When I sat down to write this, I actually yelled “NO!” and sprung back up on my feet so I could type standing.
Also, that is not working AT ALL, so I’m going to have to hunker back down for the duration of this post, slowly chugging closer to my own death just to meet a deadline.
I am slain.
If I seem panicked, it’s because lately I’ve become consumed with my own mortality and exactly how long I’ve got left. Studies come and studies go, and I’m sure many of us are not better for having read and absorbed the information they contain, it comes as no surprise that common folk like myself read something like this and wonder how many years they’ve shaved off their own existence by reclining in front of a whole season of television shows and cable specials.
Now, excuse me while I go walk in circles.