Welcome to Hell, I Mean, Clothes Shopping
This is our second introductory post from CherryBlossomKitty. After one more post, we will vote on her inclusion.
This afternoon I decided to check out one of those pop-up Halloween stores. I love Halloween, and I would like to perhaps get a new costume for this year. Yeah, right.
I did eventually find the “Plus” section, which contained all of about three different styles and took up half a rack. Not wanting to be a bar wench, Greek goddess or whatever was wearing the shapeless black robe, I left the store.
Leaving a store empty-handed is something I’ve become quite used to.
Earlier today, I went to a big box store that I shall not name, but I’m sure everyone knows which because it has a big red bullseye on the outside. So many lovely, stylish fall and winter clothes, so reasonably priced… all in S, M, or L only.
Oh, how stylish I would be if I weren’t a 3X!
But wait, you say. There are plenty of stylish plus-sized stores out there! And you would be right, except that apparently the clothes are either made out of 24-karat gold fibers, or fabric is reeeeeeally expensive once you get past a certain size, because everything in those stores is way. too. expensive.
With the above thoughts in mind, may I present to you:
A LETTER TO WOMEN’S CLOTHING STORES
DEAR “TRENDY” CLOTHING STORES (e.g., Hot Topic, Urban Outfitters, Forever 21):
- There are women who are larger than a size L
- There are women with bra sizes larger than 38 and cup sizes larger than DD.
- There are women who wear shoes larger than size 10.
- There are women who would really, REALLY like to wear your clothing, but can’t because you won’t make it in sizes that fit them.
- And you might say, “Oh but we make plus-sizes too!” BULL. Your plus-size department is one rack and full of ugly crap. Or it’s online only. That’s just wrong.
DEAR MASS-MARKET CLOTHING STORES (Sears, JC Penney, Target, Kohl’s):
- While we appreciate your feeble attempt to cater to more “average” sized women, we still notice that pretty much all your stylish, trendy clothing is only in the “Juniors” section. PUT SOME OF THAT STUFF IN OUR SIZES. WE WANT TO WEAR IT TOO.
- See above on bra sizes, too. There really ARE women on this planet larger than a DD cup size. I know, I’m one of them.
- Oh, and a special note: I think it really says something when YOUR DAMNED PLUS-SIZE SECTION IS SMALLER THAN YOUR MATERNITY SECTION.
DEAR SPECIALIZED “PLUS-SIZED” CLOTHING STORES (e.g., Lane Bryant, Avenue, Catherine’s):
- Your clothes are bat-crap ugly and way over-priced. I want to look stylish, not like my grandmother in a muumuu, and I don’t want to spend 50 bucks on a t-shirt.
- AND DAMNIT, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A BRA WITH A CUP SIZE BIGGER THAN A DD THAT I CAN BUY IN A FREAKING STORE AND NOT ONLINE??????? BLAHAHAHAGARGRG