Themeless Thursday - Whose Body Is It Anyway?
Why, may I ask, is anyone who is not ME concerned with my body?
This, for me, is one of the central questions of Fat Acceptance.
But it extends far past the boundaries of FA as well.
I bring it up today because yesterday I stopped by my tattoo parlor and made an appointment for March 12 to get my next tattoo.
Tattoos are many things to me. They are art. They are beautiful. My one tattoo I have and the three more I am currently planning to have added are very personal and mean something very significant to me. But, most of all, they are my way of saying… “This is my body. I control it. You will not tell me what is and is not appropriate for me.”
I see Fat Acceptance through this same lens. No matter what size or shape my body is, it is MY body, and you have no say about what it does or should look like.
Now, to me, this seems like a perfectly sensible attitude. I do not see any reason that I should be concerned with anyone’s body and life except my own. I have enough to do in my life just keeping up with me… I am not interested in extending my sphere of control over you…
So what is it about so many people that they feel like they MUST comment / question / control / deride / humiliate others based on, well, OK, here I’m talking about fat, but it could be anything, really.
I run into this brain cramp on many issues. Because I sincerely feel that other people’s business is not mine… I do not understand why people feel that something that is my business should be theirs?
Who you have sex with and how you do it? As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult? Fine. Do you smoke? As long as you do not blow your smoke directly in my face… Fine. Covered your body in piercings and tattoos? Fine. Want to eat a cheeseburger every single day of your life? Fine. Want to eat nothing but lettuce and broccoli instead? Fine. Want to worship a traditional God? Fine. Want to frolic naked in the woods and sing a song to the pagan pantheon? Fine. (OK, actually I am a little more partial to that last one, because it seems like fun 
Do you see the pattern here?
Sadly, I do not see a vast majority of people out there sharing my rather Laissez-faire attitude toward the lives of others. So until then, what to do?
Should FA spend more time with studies and charts and graphs, attempting to educate the masses that the existence of adipose tissue on a body does not automatically equal doom and death and horror?
Or should FA just say “FU”? “Who CARES about the possible health implications of fat?”, “It’s MY health and MY fat and none of your business!”?
I don’t have the answer to this. But it’s an interesting question.
FA saying FU. I love it. I’m a big believer in everyone do as you please as long as you aren’t hitting me with anything or burning down my house (cause that would really bother me).
I think human nature sometimes compells others to hoist their opinions on others. My mother seems to suffer from this complex but she’s easy enough to block out or knock out, take your pick.
I sometimes take this attitude with persistant posters over at a forum thread I run. Eventually I just have to drop “Well, why do YOU care? What business is it of yours, exactly, what another person does with their OWN body?” After some mental sputtering I can hear even over the internet, they go away, hopefully rethinking their assumptions. I find this approach works well with someone who just has an axe to grind and doesn’t want to read my multiple links and other posts about fa and haes.
Great post, nocelereyplease! Some excellent food for thought.
Oh, this has been my schtick all along, even on posts about what to tell people who are putting their kids on a diet. My body, my kids, MY BUSINESS and vice versa.
The thing is that we all affect one another, and I guess everyone is going to see differently where the line has been crossed from purely personal to interpersonal. Smoking is a good example. I think there are good arguments to prohibit smoking in the workplace in general, because people don’t usually have a huge amount of choice about where they work, and they should not be subjected to health risks, but I’d make an exception for bars and donut shops as an area where the interest in smoking outweighs the interest in open employment opportunities. Obviously, this is the kind of area where opinions are going to differ.
Then seat belts. I personally think people should be allowed to choose. But I kind of agree with seat belt laws for kids, just because the potential harm seems so great and the cost so little, but it seems like the kind of thing a lot of people would be lazy about if it weren’t a law. Again, wide range of views, there.
The diet-soaked culture undoubtedly has a range of similar views about fat. Most would say it’s your own business. Some would say it’s you’re own business except when you’re talking about kids. Others would say it’s all of our business because of health care costs and the reduced vigilence that comes with normalizing fat. That’s where all the “but science hasn’t come up with a healthy means of achieving long-term weight loss except in exceptional cases so you’re just being an asshole” part of FA comes in.
Trabb’s Boy said pretty much everything I was going to say. A person who enjoys pointing out the flaws and failings of others would say, “Your unhealthy lifestyle does affect me through healthcare costs.” But then you could turn around and say, well what about the costs of covering the uninsured at ERs or the cost of alcoholism and drunkenness.
I think people love to point out where your choices are impacting my world, whether through the healthcare argument or by simple aesthetic insult. They think fat people are ugly and they shouldn’t have to look at them.
Funny story: Veronica used to work with this gay guy who was fairly conservative (and claimed that most gay men were pretty conservative, except for the issue of gay rights). He went to this Catholic church for years until one day he called the church and got a “Push 1 for…” things. One of the options was “Push 2 for Spanish” and he left that church because he was so infuriated.
How can a person who is directly affected by the bigotry of others be so willing to flaunt his own bigotry? That’s the mystery of assholes.
Peace,
Shannon
The Mystery of Assholes. That sounds like a book I would buy.
The fact is, other people have to look at you. Also, lot’s of people are busy-bodies.
Well, they don’t HAVE to look at me… they could avert their eyes, as is appropriate when gazing upon a goddess - lol.
When people feel a need to judge others I think it’s really a reflection on themselves. I know when I have felt negatively about myself in the past I would to be more ciritical of others as well. When we are judging ourselves to harshly we assume everyone else is judging us too, and that its our business to pick other people apart. It’s a vicious circle.
That is probably why we as FA people don’t understand it because we are feeling good about ourselves and figure other people should to without judgement.