Make the movement your own.
My sister used to tell me that I don’t like people. I’m terribly picky about who I hang out with and I don’t suffer meanies. If someone tries to make me feel bad about myself, I kick them to the curb, right quick.
Then, about five years ago, I started to become aware that there was a drastic shift in the public’s perception about fat. A very negative shift.
And I ended up kinda stumbling upon the Fatosphere and Fat Acceptance.
Over the last five years, I tried to be a part of three separate online communities - so that I could “get involved” with this topic I’m passionate about - and in each case I ended up exiling myself.
I couldn’t stand the rampant “mean girl” behavior in these communities. And I’m not going to waste my time with people who don’t have any problem with the bullying and cliquishness and general exclusion of anyone that doesn’t magically know the rules.
I deal with that enough in the real world, I don’t need that from Fat Acceptance.
Then, at the end of last year, as I was preparing to launch my websites, I had an epiphany. I should “make the movement my own.”
I spent so much time trying to sort out my place, when I should have been focusing on sorting out what I want the movement to be.
There are so many different perspectives in Fat Acceptance. And every time I’ve heard someone say that everyone in fat acceptance agrees on something, I end up thinking about all the instances where that is so not true.
We don’t have a single leader or a single idea that we follow in FA. Even the “big names” of fat acceptance say things like, “we don’t want fat acceptance to be monolithic.”
And I take that whole “let’s not be monolithic” idea to mean each of us need to figure out what Fat Acceptance means for us. Taking that line of reasoning a step further, if we don’t like something in FA, I think we just need to forge our own path.
If fat acceptance is a smorgasbord of ideas, I think each of us needs to pick those things that work for us and discard the rest.
So, yeah, I am totally full of myself because I think I SHOULD define the movement the way I want it to be.
Isn’t that kinda the point? Half of the fat acceptance journey is about self-acceptance. It’s about finding your pride and self-worth and not letting anyone challenge those things anymore.
And Fierce, Freethinking, Fatties is a great example of doing just that. It’s about making a space for ourselves so that we can define the movement as we want it to be.
Because making a place for yourself in the world is an empowering act. It’s bold, courageous, and definitely fierce.
It seems like all political and social movements go through this change where at first they are sort of monolithic in their goals. Then over time it becomes clear that despite our common political or social goals, our differences aren’t accounted for by a broad-based movement, and it moves toward individual representation of a monolithic movement.
Like third wave feminism. At first, feminism meant that behaviors A, B, and C were tolerated (both among men, women and society in general), while behaviors X, Y, and Z were not. But after the main goals of equality were (mostly) achieved, the next generation of feminists said, “Well, wait, I don’t mind X, Y, and Z that much” and a rift opened up between the first and second generations of feminism.
The adult entertainment industry is a good example. For Civil Rights Era feminists, a woman who was a stripper or worked at Hooters was participating in a sexist, misogynistic industry that oppressed women and damaged their prospects for equality. Third wave feminism seems to say that so long as the woman chooses a career in stripping or serving at Hooters, then it’s okay. It’s her life, her choices, her path.
I’m glad we’ve reached a sort of “third wave” Fat Acceptance, where we don’t feel compelled to bully people into a certain opinion. We all have different experiences and different backgrounds. I don’t know why we’d expect everyone to come to the same conclusions or share the same opinions.
Great post, Elizebeth.
Peace,
Shannon
You haven’t reached third wave fat acceptance because fat acceptance isn’t nearly as ubiquitous as feminism.
Most people aren’t even aware of the basic ideology of FA proper (at most they think it’s some vague form of positive body image), and those who do find out about it, get to hear it through the filter of Kate Harding et al.
Sorry, that’s the truth. Good luck creating your schism though, I like a good schism.
You don’t have to be ubiquitous to be third wave. Third wave isn’t about how much influence you have, it’s about how you ingest the movement personally. So, yeah, there is something to be said for having a set of basic tenets that define a movement, but how you live that movement is a totally different story.
I think third wavers still subscribe to the basic ideology, and we still promote it. It’s just that we allow ourselves the right to question that ideology in the pursuit of perfecting it.
Peace,
Shannon
I always seem to be in the third wave of things. I’m a third wave feminist and now a third wave FAer.
I’m all for giving respect to those that laid the groundwork for FA. And there is great information to be had about FA, although it can take a bit of work to find.
But, I have to admit, the ideas that speak to me are usually the ones that I sorted out on my own. Which is why I tend to rocking the boat. It’s that whole “independently minded” thing.
Boat rockers, bridge burners and shit disturbers… that’s what makes a Fierce, Freethinking Fatty.
Peace,
Shannon
What is that cliche I always use? Oh yeah.. different strokes for different folks.
I like the third wave theory. There is nothing worse than coming into a movement and being made to feel as though you are a fringe element with no access to the “inside” because you don’t subscribe with no reservations.
Get it girl! I think each of us need to make the movement our own. The third wave theory was part of why I became part of Feirce Freethinking Fatties, since it was a place where FA could be explored from many different perspectives and without trying to to fit us all into stifling little boxes.
It’s February and cold, so my first thought was “Man, I could SO go for a stifling little box right now!”… but in general, and especially in August, you are totally right!
I think that if we can all just agree on “fat people are, foremost, people and deserve to be treated with basic human dignity and respect”, then how it branches out from there should really be up to the individual.
“fat people are, foremost, people and deserve to be treated with basic human dignity and respect”
You hit it on the head. Sometimes I kinda wish that was the ONLY tenant of FA. When I get tired of the FA drama, I wish we could all say “We’re just going to agree to disagree on the details and focus on the one thing we all agree on.”
Because I can’t think of any perspective in FA that disagrees with that statement. And I can think of a lot of perspectives OUTSIDE FA that AGREE with that idea.
When I first found FA, there weren’t a lot of blogs about it, and I subscribed to every one I could find (and most of them said the same things, just worded differently). But in the 3 years since then, the number of blogs talking about FA has literally exploded, and it seems there are almost as many ideas about how to frame FA as there are blogs. Some see this as diluting the message and are wolfish about defending their point of view. I, however, have an open mind, and am of the opinion that the more ideas a movement has, the more people you can draw into that movement. The more people you draw into that movement, the more mainstream you make it, and isn’t that what we’re all working toward? I may not agree with how all the various members of FA express their activism, but as long as we all agree that all fat people are just that - people - and deserve the basic respect all people (of any size) deserve, then I don’t give a rat’s ass how you work for FA, just keep working for it.
So, ever since I started reading about FA (and I’ve seen a lot of disagreements and fights and people leaving), I decided I would read everything I could find, take what I could use and discard what didn’t work for me, and do my blogging thing. If people liked it, fine, if they didn’t, that was fine too. I figure we’re all adults and can figure out what works for us and what doesn’t and there’s no need to get our bowels in an uproar over shit that isn’t going to matter 6 months from now, let alone 6 years or 60 years from now.
“I decided I would read everything I could find”
Except for one or two exceptions, I’m on the same page with you. Reading different perspectives often makes me think, “what I feel about what they’re saying,” which then allows me to refine my opinions.
The blogs I have a hard time reading are those which are just angry at the world. Snarky commentary, sure. Angry ranting that is informative, right on. But yelling for the sake of yelling doesn’t do anything for me.
Amen to that……I found FA through eating disorder blogs, and i was linked to shapely prose and then found the fatosphere. I think the face of any -ism is so personal you almost HAVE to interpret it and fight it in your own way. For me i can spew all i want to peolpe online….but take that same info to my family….scary and different.
“but take that same info to my family….scary and different.”
I hate being political in person. There are so many people in my life that KNOW I’m big into FA but almost never hear me talk about it becasue I know they’re not into FA.
So, effectively, I’m out as a Fat Acceptance Activist, but I don’t see the point to being pushy about. I try to be subtle. On more than once instance I’ve said “do you know about HAES” to someone that is talking about wanting to be healthy but being tired of dieting.
But talking about political issues can be very alienating when dealing with someone that doesn’t want to hear about it. That’s kind of my rationalization for why I feel comfortable calling myself an activist, although most of the work I do is online.
I came via BFD! I didn’t know this place existed; I’ll definitely read up on it.
Can we not have waves in FA? I’m sick of waves in feminism, with everyone arguing over which is better or more important or more encompassing of our “goals”, which are many and varied.
I think forging your own path is important. Like with feminism, the intersectionality of fathood and womanhood and xyz-hood will result in everyone having a different experience. I’m glad that other FA blogs exist if only for their place as a jumping off point for us to start along the path to self-acceptance and true fat activism.
Or something like that.
You’re absolutely right. I’m not wild about having different waves. But it’s easier to designate freethinking as the “third wave” because that’s what feminism had to do. Women who had their own opinions on modern feminism were treated like heretics by “classical” feminists. I felt similarly treated on the Fatosphere because my view of Fat Acceptance didn’t fall in lockstep with some of the widely-accepted views of FA on the FoS. I knew I wasn’t the only one, so I wanted to start a new forum for exploring some of those “heretical” ideas.
I think that any movement focusing on self-acceptance, by its nature, should be open to the diversity of opinions that make up a movement. To me, self-acceptance also means accepting each other for wherever we are on that path and not expecting each other to be “proper” activists. Ultimate self-acceptance means you don’t need some group, some philosophy, to validate your beliefs. You believe what you believe because you think it’s true, not because other people have rubber stamped your beliefs.
To me, that’s what this “wave” is about. We don’t need to call it a wave. We can call it a “tuna can” for all I care. I just want to think for myself.
Thanks for coming and commenting. I hope you enjoy what you find.
Peace,
Shannon
Dude - totally. From now on, I say this site should be referred to as the third tuna can of fat acceptance!
How about the third tuna can from the right of Fat Acceptance?
Peace,
Shannon