Twisted Body Positive Affirmations.
In my quest to research a body positive perspective, I went looking for body positive affirmations. What I found confounded me.
It is almost impossible to find a website or book with body positive affirmations that DOES NOT INCLUDE DIET TALK.
For a reason I don’t quite understand, the logic seems to go like this : Taking care of yourself means being healthy, and being healthy means loosing weight, and being body positive means taking care of yourself, so being body positive means trying to loose weight.
This is in stark contrast to my idea of a body positive perspective : Find love and acceptance for the body you have right now.
I sometimes wonder if the reason I see these things like this differently than the mainstream is becasue I’m a hedonist. I don’t see the worth in self-flagellation. I much prefer a “find happiness with yourself” perspective.
(BTW…I did find one good book. Live Large! Affirmations for Living the Life You Want in the Body You Already Have by Cheri K. Erdman)
Anyhow, my search left me feeling disappointed. It sucks to know that those looking for self improvement are still being passed the “thin is better” perspective.
The US has a long and glorious history of self flagellation. It’s what we do. Blame the Puritans.
The key is to be able to break out of that mind set somehow.
Not easy, not at all, with all the “work harder, be stronger, abstain, ABSTAIN” messages we are bombarded with every day.
Maybe YOU should write up some affirmations and do a book (or at least a web page)!
Great idea NCP… Elizebeth, you are now tasked with writing a body positive, non-diet-related affirmations book! Good luck!
And I believe self-flagellation is a Catholic invention, thank you very much.
Peace,
Shannon
atchka -
I think the smarter route would be to see if I can co-write something with the likes of Golda Poretsky of Body Love Wellness. You know, someone that actually writes and talks about the body positive perspective.
Totally unrelated, but I was actually brought up Roman Catholic…and then my mother fell in love with a woman in her 40′s and the church kicked her out. She’s much happier as a lesbian.
That’s funny, because I’m reading a book now on clergy abuse in the Catholic Church and there’s a statistic wherein something like 5% of priests have had sexual relationships with minors, 20-25% have had relationships with women, and 15% with men. And the author (Fr. Thomas Doyle, who is badass) has tracked down Church records going back to the 4th Century that show the Church has been aware of and fought vehemently against clergy/lay relationships.
It’s the hypocrisy that really turns my stomach. But then I talk to a priest like Fr. Clyde (who is baptizing our daughter) and he tells you something like, “A Catholic is anyone who says ‘I’m Catholic’” and you say, “Fuck the hierarchy” and see the value of the pastoral church (the one that does that actual good).
I think the Church needs to self-destruct (already on its way) and start from scratch.
Peace,
Shannon
noceleryplease -
Sadly, I have thought about it. That project is right in line, after my “FA 101″ book idea, which I’ve been drafting for a while. I have a million ideas, so I tend to choose my next project based on what has the most pull. If I write an non-fiction book, it’ll be “FA 101.”
Right now I’m in the final stages of writing a fiction book, which it not at all related to FA. It’s an urban fantasy romance, becasue I’m cheesy like that.
It is weird that self-acceptance requires changing yourself. Bit of cognitive dissonance there, eh?
Peace,
Shannon
atchka -
I think it a misinterpretation, is what it is. I think people mix up self acceptance and self improvement as if they are the same thing.
The problem here is that self improvement is that it includes a kind of moral judgment about what is correct or superior. Is that judgment coming from things you want for yourself or things others want from you?
In order to figure that out, I think you start with self acceptance. Or, at the very least, self exploration. (Which, of course, sounds really dirty.)
But the whole, “I’ll change myself and then be happy,” without the part where you figure out who you are or who you want to be, is an act of cognitive dissonance.
Does self-acceptance require that you change yourself or change how you see yourself? I think it’s changing how you see yourself, which isn’t really changing who you are. You’re basically still the same person, with the same talents, etc, but you can see them as either a positive or neutral factor in your life instead of a negative factor.
Vesta, not sure if you were responding to me. If so, I should have used the sarcasm alarm.
Peace,
Shannon
vesta44 -
I’m with you, I think it’s about changing how you see yourself. But it’s a good question.
I’m not against self improvement in it’s entirety. I’m against the idea that self improvement comes BEFORE self acceptance. That you get right and then it’s okay to like yourself.
I think figuring out the meter for what is right in your life is about self acceptance. Someone that decides to change themselves becasue they know what they want is a different beast than someone that is following a prescribed path on the hope that it will make them happy.
I just had a flash of Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley.
What would I do with out obscure Saturday Night Live references?
I agree wholeheartedly that feeling good about oneself is vital for the here and now and not sometime in the future.
I have a friend who won’t go out or do anything until she gets herself in tip top shape and ready for public viewing. It’s like she can’t start living until everything is in the perfect place. I wonder what it must be like to not have a valid exsistence outside what others think about you.
dufmanno -
I always liked “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey.” The twisted side of self reflection.
because im good enough, im smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me.
erylin -
Its so true! Even if your being smarmy.
Perfect, Erylin! Where’s that from again?
it was meant both ways….in a joking flashy-backy sort of way…and in the honest way that tells the never-gonna-be-good-enough-EVER she IS good enough, dammit