Fat Activism for the Shy (or Lazy) Activist
So, you are fully on board with Fat Acceptance. You are embracing your body as it is (or working on it, at any rate). You are embracing the right of others to live their lives in any manner they see fit. You are according each individual with the intrinsic dignity that they deserve as human being.
Go You!
But… you still have a bit of a hard time talking about all that to other people.
You might be afraid of their reaction. You might dislike conflict. You might just not feel like dealing with an FA explanation today.
All of these things are common.
You might be a shy person, or you, like me, might just be a “lazy activist.”
Fear not! There are still things you can do to promote Fat Acceptance, even if you are not quite up to tilting at the many, many windmills that society has set up for fat/body acceptance.
So what is the shy and/or lazy activist to do?
Plenty!
- Voting with your dollars — This is where I go with 99% of all my activism.Because I am not a “marching in the street with banners” type of person and I am not really a “get up in your face” person and I often fall into the “wow, I’d like to do that, but, hey, look, there’s something on TV and I could just stay here on my couch rather than get out there and do that” category. I like to, instead, put my money where my mouth often refuses to go. Now, I admit, I am privileged enough to have an annual budget that I donate to charities and causes. That’s great if you have it. And if you have it… use it! There are all kinds of good causes out there that promote body acceptance, etc. I donate my money to causes that I believe in… hey, I believe the Supreme Court just made money equivalent to speech anyway, so look at me “speaking out”!But even if you do not happen to have money that you can toss around to causes and charities, you can still make your money work for your activism in other ways. For example: I do not spend money at clothing stores that do not have sizing into at least some “plus” range. And it’s not just that I will not buy clothes there… I mean, nothing. If they are going to discriminate, they are not getting my money. Period. You can do this too. That means no… I will not buy your “accessories” if you won’t also sell me your clothing.Also, know of companies that have policies that are discriminatory against their fat employees? Boycott them. Stop supporting their existence. You don’t even have to write to them and tell them you are doing it, although that can help. The fact that you are depriving them of your piece of the revenue stream is great.
And specifically supporting companies that have policies that are GOOD for their fat employees — also a good thing to do! (And easier to write to them about).
- Supporting others who do speak out — Even just an “I agree” on a blog post or a FB comment. Any time you add your voice to the words of others makes it obvious that THEY are not alone in their feelings. You can both help them to realize that they have support, and also show others who may disagree that it’s not just that one lonely voice in the wilderness saying that Fat Acceptance is, well, acceptable.
- Tiny words — This is what I consider Fat Acceptance one person at a time. See a fat person in an elevator who is wearing a nice outfit? Say “Hey, nice outfit.” It takes only a second and puts just a little boost in their day. (Actually, this will work for all people, but we are talking just specifically about fat here). This one is kinda walking a line, because you don’t want to cross over into specifically commenting on their body or anything… keep it out of creepy land
. But “I like your shoes” or “Nice nail polish” is usually taken well and doesn’t cross over into intrusive, even in a cross-gender situation.
So those are just three things the shy or lazy activist can do that will, hopefully, not put too great a strain on your psyche.
But hey — even if those things ARE too much for you… well, hell, that’s just fine too…
Because just being who you are and accepting yourself as a worthwhile person in the face of the societal and media onslaught telling you you have to BE DIFFERIFFERIFFERENT!! Well, I’d say that’s pretty darn activist to be going along with!
1. I boycot Whole Foods. And this is not an easy boycot for me, beacsue I have food allergies which make Health Food Stores important to getting a range of foods I can eat. But I can’t deal with the whole punishing fat employees by rewarding the thin ones.
As for giving money…The one thing I give credit to NAAFA is their work as a lobbyist. As an organization they kinda fail at the giving out information on their website AND they fail at rallying us fatties to do anything OTHER than attend their conferences…BUT if you want to give money to an organizxation that actaully deals with politicians and organizations in order to get better treatment for us fatties, that orginization is NAAFA.
2. YES, YES, YES! Let me shout it from the rooftops how much I agree with you on this point! Even a little suport can go a long way…it’s not easy to stand up to the world and I think it’s even harder if you feel like your doing it on your own.
3. I love your suggestions about giving compliments. It can be such a small thing and make someones day a million times better. I try to be sincere (ie not lie or make stuff up) but it’s really not hard to find something nice to say about another person if your looking.
All around, awesome post!
If I had a Whole Foods around here to boycott, I totally would.
I’m a shy person who has difficulty talking about FA to others, even to the extent of losing touch with a friend recently. Her continual moaning about her weight (and she weighs a hell of a lot less than me) was really getting me down.
I’ve been trying to do more of No. 2 - supporting those who do speak out - by commenting more on FA blogs. I do find it very difficult to stick my head above the parapet, though.
Anonymous online personas are good for that!
Great advice, Freak! (Is that how we should address you now? Your Freakiness?)
This gives me an idea. I’m going to post something later today where people can recommend both companies to boycott and organizations to support. Elizebeth already kicked it off.
Although the first two can play a great role in Fat Activism (especially putting our voices together), I think the third is absolutely crucial. This battle is so personal and its toll so individual that it is vital that we provide a counterbalance to the messages that we all internalize on a daily basis. I don’t think these are “little words” at all. These are humongous words that can really make a difference in the lives of a person who may not hear them from their peers, friends or family.
But like Elizebeth said, don’t just make shit up. Actually look for something worth commenting on because people aren’t stupid. They can usually tell when you’re just grasping at straws and when you genuinely mean what you say.
Great post!
Peace,
Shannon
I love “Your Freakiness”
Also - how do I get the new blog on the FFFeed?
Statistical Freak -
I put it on the new feed this morning!
Eliz
Awesome!
Awesome post!
I do my little bit by getting out and about and not being ashamed that this old fat broad has to use a mobility scooter to do her shopping (and I used one at Valley Fair and didn’t hear any negative comments!). I comment on blogs and Facebook and I’ve even begun sharing things on my wall on Facebook, which is probably shocking to some members of my fat-phobic/shaming family (and I’m not caring what they think - if they have a nasty comment, they’ll get taken down a couple of pegs, or more, depending on my mood at the time).
I’m even thinking about making a t-shirt that says “My fat and I are BFFs” and underneath in smaller lettering will say “Willamina from Huge” (I love that line).
I love that line, and the idea of a shirt!
I’m not an in your face activist, I tend to be somewhat on the shy side. But I do what I can. I refuse to let being fat keep me from doing activities that I want to do (within reason, my knees do occasionally have a say in matter LOL) and if people have a problem with that, they can sit and spin.
I wear cloths that fat people shouldn’t wear, sleeveless, not shapeless unless that is what I want to wear because I feel like it and colors that “aren’t slimming”. I LOVE bright purples, pinks, etc
I even post pictures of my fat arms flopping in the breeze in a tank top (and horror of horrors, even a halter top 
)
I refuse to apologize for what I eat (I am an unabashed foodie) and if I want to have Doritos and cream cheese for dinner some night, then so be it. I will order what I want in restaurants and if other diners are aghast, then they can order me something and pay for it themselves. I will take pictures of food I cook and eat and post them on my blogs for all to see (OMG! See what that fatty is eating now!!!!!! Faints from shock that fat person isn’t eating rabbit food to lose weight LOL).
I comment where I can, have links to other activists and sites on my blog and home page and sell body/size/fat positive items in my Zazzle shop.
In short, I just live my life, deathfatz tho I am and lead by example
What I would really love is a great one-liner or sort of 10 second intro to FA. Basically, I often get people in my cafe who will order and then make a comment like, “I really don’t need any more calories today.” or they will say things about their body, what have you. Typical stuff, I suppose, but for my FA ears it’s depressing and sad and I just want to hug the world and tell them it’s okay and that they are perfect just how they are. But that would be weird and maybe rude to some. But I had a lady who said her son (who’s 4) preferred her bigger after seeing a picture of her smaller. She seemed so proud of this, but then went right into how much she needs to lose and how long she’s been trying. I felt like there was a huge opportunity there, but I didn’t say anything. I told my husband later and he said, “Oh man! You should have told her about the FA movement!” Love him.
Well, now I’m going to have to think about a great one-liner. Something like, “It’s okay, calories aren’t evil.” Then she’ll probably respond with “No, but they’re…” and you can go from there. Something to spark further conversation is all you need. Good luck!
Peace,
Shannon
Thanks, I like that a lot. So simple! I’ll keep thinking on this one, too! =0)
Great post. You know, I never considered myself a activist (when I hear this word…I usually think of people marching in the streets with banners..LOL). Anyway, I think the older I am getting the more I am speaking out against fat and size discrimination. I just got tired of all the bullshiggity(hatred, lies, lies & more lies). I have been a supporter of self acceptance for a long time before I was aware of FA movement and social media. I guess in some indirect way reading blogs about self & fat acceptance brought out the passion in me to fight negative body image. Maybe it was destiny {shrugs shoulders}