Indentured Servant —
After I was banished from Facebook for wishing undignified deaths on Yay-Rapists, I received a message from Marilyn Wann asking me to clarify my intentions as a Fat Activist (which isn’t the first time).
I explained that I had been reverse trolling fat hate groups and attempted to do the same with the rape “joke” group, but let my anger get the best of me and posted some pretty harsh things.
She said she understood and suggested that we talk some time about this and other things, and she gave me her phone number.
Marilyn Wann gave me her phone number.
That’s like… that’s like Queen Elizabeth giving Rowan Atikinson her digits.
I don’t mean Marilyn Wann wants me (who could blame her, really?), but I wouldn’t expect someone as influential as her handing out her number to just any weirdass goofball.
(Incidentally, my wife thinks that Rowan Atkinson, this Rowan Atkinson…
… is sexy in one season of “Blackadder”…
…and I’m not sure what to make of that.)
I had intended to call her on Wednesday, but had a clusterfucked day at the office and wasted two hours in flood-faulted gridlock tweeting instead of calling MARILYN FUCKING FAT!SO? WANN!!!
I ask if she wants to speak Friday afternoon and she’s cool with it. So, I leave work early, itching to dial up an early FA idol, when I notice that I’ve inputted her name as “Marilyn Wamm.”
(Little known fact: “Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go” is about the Vietnam War.)
I’m only able to enjoy this mistake for a moment before she picks up and I realize that my milk-logged LG is going to be an issue: I can barely hear her. See… after the milk dried I could see some in the earpiece. Since the sound was a little muffled, I thought it would be a good idea (because I’m kinda dumb sometimes) to poke holes in the dried milk, but punctured the diaphragm (which sounds painful) and added a rattling paper sound to my side of the conversation.
I don’t want to tell Marilyn this because I want to be all cool and professional and stuff, but I’m missing words left and right, yet catching the general conversation. There was one part that I understood completely clearly, though, and it made me think she was about the coolest damned person on the face of the planet.
She asked me if I identified as a fat man, which I do in a basic sense. I don’t really identify as strongly with my fat, though, because as a man, I don’t really “feel” the effect of my weight in society, since, as Miriam Heddy explains, the threshold for acceptable fat in men is much higher than in women).
So I said that my motivation comes from seeing what my wife has had to deal with, therefore I feel more like a fat ally than someone fighting for my own fat rights.
She said that she didn’t really use the term “ally” because it created a hierarchy in activism that she didn’t think should exist.
Personally, I’ve always felt like “ally” referred to a person who was not a member of the oppressed group, but who recognized the importance of fighting with that group for whatever reason, whether a fat spouse or parent or friend, or just plain common decency.
As I’ve previously discussed, I don’t place much stock in valuing certain opinions over others based on one’s membership in the oppressed group in question. Opinions should be judged on the quality of the opinion and not the person from whom the opinion comes.
So, if tomorrow a new Fat Acceptance blogger debuted and kicked all of our collective asses in terms of persuading the general population that being fat isn’t a big deal, then I shouldn’t care if that blogger was fat, thin, a gluttonous sloth, or an obsessive dieter.
“Wait, what did he say?”
Yeah, I said it.
I dared say it.
If the most effective, most skilled rhetorician in Fat Acceptance is someone who obsessively counts calories and wants desperately to be thin, I don’t have a problem with that.
*looks around in terror as the walls of my humble chapeau (that’s French) tremble beneath the Wrath of the Fat Gods*
Why the hell would I say that? What could I possibly be thinking? Why, were one to invite eloquent dieters into the fold, wholesale anarchy might break out!
Dogs walking men!
Babies burping mothers!
Sheep fucking shepherds!
Or, in all likelihood, the fatosphere would carry on, completely unaffected.
You know why? Because there would be just one of two possible outcomes from such a proclamation: nobody fits that description since it is nearly impossible to effectively argue self-acceptance if you haven’t taken steps to accept yourself (which assumes that all dieters are not self-accepting) OR such a person does exist since humanity is wondrously complicated and capable of juggling multiple viewpoints quite well, thank you very much.
But does such a human unicorn exist? Could we ever be sure that such a mythical freak wasn’t some manifestation of our collective neuroses?
Hmmm…
Well, I happen to know this one delightful, skinny lady who is a member of the National Weight Loss Registry because she has kept off a significant amount of weight since around 2002 through a lifestyle which many people would consider dieting.
And yet, she’s one of the most prolific and talented of the Fierce, Freethinking Fatties, dispensing advice for easy activism and shredding strawmen like a flying monkey. And this same Skinny Minnie still has complicated body issues she struggles with.
She’s not your traditional Fat Activist, but we’ll keep our Statistical Freak right here in the heart of Fat Acceptance, thank you very much.
Now, there’s been talk recently about whether Fat Acceptance is hostile to dieting or not. I agree that there does not seem to be any outright judgment of any individual dieters, but there is a certain lack of hospitality toward dieters or those who undergo Weight Loss Surgery.
And yet, a person who claims that he harbors no grudge against dieters made it quite clear that anyone who pursues weight loss is anathema to Fat Acceptance.
(Of course, this same person also claims that I am a dieter and am “hostile” to Fat Acceptance, which should say something.)
And this is why there is no such thing as the Queen of the Fatosphere. Not only is it pointless for any one person to claim authority, but it’s insulting to say that there is a “leader” of Fat Acceptance. Fat Acceptance is a unique movement because the one thing that ties us all together (fatness) has almost nothing to do with who we are as people and who we believe as fatties.
We have one unified goal — ending the public acceptability of fat hatred and shame and all the ridiculous trappings that come with it — that we each pursue in our own unique way.
I have no more right to say who is and isn’t a part of Fat Acceptance than you have a right to tell me who is and isn’t beautiful. We are all by virtue of our claim of Fat Acceptance a Fat Acceptor.
Period.
I recently had a discussion with a priest about my faith (Status: Lapsed Catholic) and he said that despite my not having gone to mass in a decade, despite not practicing my faith, despite being completely non-compliant with Rome, I will remain a Catholic so long as I say, “I am a Catholic.”
That is mind-blowing for a lapsed Catholic to hear.
But I think the same can be said for a lapsed Fat Acceptor. Yeah, maybe I’m unhappy with my body now and I struggle back and forth between wanting to fit society’s ideal and wanting to live in my skin uninterrupted, but so long as I say, “I am a Fat Acceptor” then, SHAZAM by virtue of my proclamation, it is so.
And nobody — Dreamsicle or no — NOBODY can take that away from you.
Now, whether Marilyn Wann would agree or not is beside the point. What she said to me about her disdain of the term “ally” inspired this interpretation. And although I do not bow to Marilyn as any sort of centralized authority or Rubenesque regality, I do believe that every movement needs a moral compass to help ground its proponents and foundation on which to build.
And for me, Marilyn is one of those foundations.
fiercefatties
dufmanno
vesta44
JeninCanada
atchka
erylin
lexiedi
joannadeadwinter
dr deah
shaunta
roundgirlrocks
hlkolaya
lifeonfats
bronwenofhindscroft
osufem
onefabulousmamaistheshiznet
The Smokin' Deist
showmediabetes
drpattiethomas
Yes! FA has foundations on which to build - I like that. Not all the foundations are the same, but I think all are equally worthy, each in their own way. And we pick and choose pieces of those foundations, and make our own foundations - Wow! We could actually build a city this way (maybe that’s carrying the analogy too far, but I like the analogy so much….lol).
We built this city on Fatty Roooooooooooooooooooooolls!
I think that’s the best way to view the “leaders” of Fat Acceptance. You have no obligation to obey them or agree with them or yield to their opinions, but you do owe them a debt of gratitude for laying the groundwork. And each generation continues to build upon the past, which is how all great movements are formed. I think we’re definitely well on our way to building a new Fat Utopia.
Peace,
Shannon
Love the new jingle! Sorry we didn’t get to meet up - that restaurant sounded awesome! No worries, I travel to the hometown at least twice a year. We can sing the jingle!
Next time, Karen, we’ll totally hit up Pi.
Peace,
Shannon
In Fat Utopia I’m going to wear my bikini to the grocery store and buy baby-flavoured doughnuts, then be fabulously fat all over the place while eating said doughnuts.
I also think the Fat Utopia should also be made entirely of Nerf. Ya know, if we’re gonna be building it from scratch and all.
Peace,
Shannon
SHAZAM!
Funny, Marilyn lives fairly close to my cafe, we keep trying to meet each other and somehow never do. She gave me her phone number last summer, but I’ve never had anything specific to say. I’m fearful of sounding like a big ole fan-girl, but I do look up to her. I saw her at the Big Moves 10th b-day show & party and when the show was over, she was gone like a wisp of air in the night. I want a Yay! Scale in my cafe and she has promised to help me with that. I am just so glad to have people like her to keep me focused on the FA movement.
And grateful to have met you, Shannon and to read this well written post.
=0)
Thanks notblue. I felt fan-boyish too, but I guess I must have misjudged my enthusiasm.
Peace,
Shannon
I continue to marvel at the self-defined fat activists who seem to believe Fat Activism is a tidy, well-defined package of beliefs that you either sign up for wholesale, or you don’t dare call yourself a “fat activist”.
Baaaaaah. Baa-a-a-a-ah.
It’s equally as ignorant as those who believe ALL fat people overeat, never exercise, have eating disorders, seldom bathe, are unintelligent, dishonest, poor, asexual, are unable to perform on-the-job because they’re constantly distracted by food fantasies; and that they’re less capable than thin people of just about everything because if they can’t control their weight, they obviously don’t have what it takes to do anything else competently.
Nobody owns the Fat Acceptance Movement. Those who are Fat Acceptors are just as unique and individual as the stretchmarks on my belly.
Besides, I’d rather be a thinking outcast than a mindless follower of somebody else’s prescribed canon of opinions, any day.
Completely agreed. I think the danger of any political movement is the temptation to narrowly define “correct” activism. It would seem that we would want every voice possible shouting with us. Maybe you’re shouting something I disagree with, but if we’re generally shouting for the same outcome, well, you’re welcome beside me.
Peace,
Shannon
Kim - I LOL’d at your comment and then agreed whole-heartedly!
I agree with the sentiment that fat acceptance can be promoted by skinny or dieting people.
the same way that gay rights can be promoted by straight people
truth is truth, no matter who’s mouth it comes out of.
and in fact, that a person who is not a member of the group almost makes it more telling, because they have nothing to gain from the acceptance that they help create
I don’t think dieting is anti-fat acceptance either, if the dieting is eating healthy choices and moderate amounts - because you aren’t going to loss massive amounts being sensible - it’s the fad yo-yo dieting that is suggestive of the self loathing and non-acceptance.
I agree! And very much appreciate the affirmation from Dufmanno (below). I’ve been called a troll a few times and it’s very hurtful, especially when I wasn’t promoting dieting or insulting anyone.
This is a very accepting place for discussion.
nina,
Whatever a person’s reason for dieting, it is THEIR body and if they want to screw it up, that is THEIR decision. Telling those people, “Well, you can’t be a part of our group unless you treat your body this way” seems wrong to me. ESPECIALLY if our group is trying to get society to respect our right to treat our body in the way we see fit.
Peace,
Shannon
Has no one tried to snuff you for this yet?
This is what I find endlessly fascinating about this group of FA bloggers. The idea that they come from all over the map, have wildly different stories, opinions that run the gamut, and experiences that are like comparing apples to oranges. YET, they can all come into a discussion, debate a point and LISTEN to what others have to say. I’ll be the first fucking one to say that I’ve learned more here than anywhere else on the blogosphere.
So many people out there drifting around with no where to land because they are just a tiny bit outside this or that line that some other know it all has drawn in the sand.
I don’t subscribe to that 101 bullshit with regards to anything in life. If someone is new to something you welcome them with open arms and make them feel accepted and loved. They will stay and reward you with their readership and participation.
You miss a LOT in life if you are always telling people what they are doing wrong or not according you your rules. Breaking down all barriers is the way to acceptance across the board.
Ya know, this morning when I came out of my house I saw a van full of fatties speed off. I may have to go into the Fatness Protection Program.
Yeah, I want our landing pad to be as broad as possible. We can handle dissent and disagreement. We’re confident in our views.
And thank you for learning so much here, although I have to say, your opinions are a bit tainted.
Peace,
Shannon
And now I’m wondering if Marilyn’s post on your wall is sarcasm or if she’s serious. If it’s not sarcasm, she sounds pissed, Atchka, that you’re defending dieters who want to be part of FA. Shit, I’m adamantly against dieting for weight loss, but even I don’t care if dieters are a part of FA as long as they don’t push their diets on me or anyone else who doesn’t want to diet for weight loss. As long as they don’t expect me to congratulate them on their progress, commiserate with them on their lack of progress, and listen to what they are/aren’t eating or can/can’t have, I don’t have a problem with dieters in FA (how else do we bring to light for them the fallacy that is “successful, long-term weight loss” and the fact that loving oneself is healthier than spending one’s life trying to meet an impossible ideal and hating oneself when that ideal isn’t met or the bar is moved again and again and again?). Getting up close and personal is the best way to do that, and keeping dieters at arm’s length, excluding them, is not going to change their minds as well as including them will.
Oh my god, it’s facebook drama!! I thought that ended when people got out of college.
Unintended, I assure you. But Facebook is like a breeding ground for drama, mainly because so much gets lost in the flat black and white of texting. I think she misunderstood something, but I’m not sure what and I would love to correct it, but she won’t respond.
Peace,
Shannon
Maybe Marilyn is so used to flustered, blushing fatties wanting to drop to the floor and kiss her feet, that when someone dares to treat her like just another flesh-and-blood human being and possibly even DISAGREE with her, she gets in a huff. She “unfriended” me too (Unfriended!So?) after going unflatteringly apeshit about one of my blog posts — first on my Facebook page (to the tune of “I can no longer trust you!” — uh, and seeing as I’d never met the woman, I wasn’t aware I’d ever had her trust to begin with), and then on the blog post itself (see http://blog.kimwrites.com/2009/10/29/fatonfat-bullying.aspx). So you’re in good company, atchka. Keep on keepin’ on.
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeez… she felt “threatened” by you?
Why not just have a damned discussion about it? Why not turn it into a chance to educate people on why the word should or shouldn’t be used? Why make this about “trust”? Trust has nothing to do with it?
See, this is something I find troublesome: excluding people who do not align perfectly with you. If the Fat Acceptance movement is only made up of people with “perfect” FA beliefs, then it’s never going to have an impact on mainstream society, the people we are supposed to be gaining acceptance from. If Marilyn wants to wait until society aligns with them, she’s going to be waiting a looooooooooooooooooong time.
Thanks for sharing!
Peace,
Shannon
vesta44,
I think she’s serious. She un-friended me.
I don’t understand the hostility. I wonder if she thought I was serious when I said I was ripping her a new one or when I wrote on my FB page “Marilyn Wann: Evil Overlord of Fatosphere or moral compass” because the answer was “moral compass.”
Or was, at least.
Peace,
Shannon
Simone - Facebook drama end?! You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s even worse when families are involved. I’ve had to hide my husband’s ex-wife’s side of the family because one member is a drama queen (and a liar) and she’s creating havoc in the family right now and no one will call her on it (they never have). In fact, they’re backing her, so hide them all I did. Not dealing with it, I don’t do drama.
OK, so who cares if someone in FA is dieting, as long as they don’t shove it down everyone else’s throat?? I lost 120 pounds 8 years ago by portion control and massive amounts of exercise, and an unhappy marriage. I ditched the asshole, went back to being a chef, gained 80 pounds back, and realized that I was going to have to change professions (which is why I now own a recording studio) or I was going to be unable to walk. I have MAJOR medical issues, stemming from a horseback riding accident in my early teens causing a good portion of my left side to be damaged. (I was told I’d never walk again, hhhmmm, docs were wrong again!) and as I age, the weight has caused mobility problems. Am I unhappy with myself so I’m dieting? Um, no. I have great friends and family, beautiful lovers of either sex who come in all shapes and sizes, a great job I love, and I love my body. So am I evil? Should I be thrown out of the F-O-S? I don’t consider it to be ‘dieting’, really I’m eating the amounts and things I should be. I’m still gonna have that slab of double fudge cake, and not only am I gonna eat it, I’m gonna smear it on my lover’s body and really enjoy the experience!
There are idiots in every single part of life. They hate themselves so much that they have to shit on everyone else to get their emotional boost. They hate ppl like us even more, because we accept and love who we are, and they claim moral outrage, because we have the balls to be happy when they are so desperately unhappy.
Sun,
Good for you. No, you shouldn’t be thrown out of the Fatosphere. I would think that, as adults, we could listen to your explanation, accept it as truth and welcome you in spite of your Fat Acceptance “heresy”. But I guess the only acceptance activists are perfect activists. And I don’t want any part of a perfect activism.
Peace,
Shannon
And this is the very reason I dislike ANY kind of fanatic, they can only hear their own voice, not the voices of the actual community.
I’m gonna go eat some banana split trifle I made last night, and I will enjoy it!
Sun,
Right on. Although fanatics are fun to watch from a distance.
Peace,
Shannon
After more than five years of skirting the edges of the larger Fat Acceptance community, it never stops striking me odd this idea that they’re are addendum to being a part of the community. I’m used to the rules of geek culture, where you show up and your in.
I’m not saying there’s no drama in geek culture but I am saying that it’s a heck of a lot more inclusive than the larger FA community.
This feeling like I have to earn my place or concede to certain expectations…I’m just not used to it. I’ve really come to dislike many of the major names in FA, despite the fact that I hugely respect the work they’ve done.
Sleepykitty said something in comments that makes me feel a little better about being the bastard children of the FA movement.
“one of the reasons I read you blog is because your initial desire was to be more inclusive of various ideas and opinions.”
I think we fill a niche in the FA community that otherwise would not be served. For all our fierceness…I often feel like the place our little FFF community succeeds is by being nice. We are eager to listen and include and encourage anyone that wants to further the movement.
And the saddest part is how many enemies I’ve made just by admitting I feel rejected by the community and that I wish the community could be more inclusive towards others.
Elizebeth,
We are filling a niche and I know that this niche is a vast, untapped reserve of discontent. We’re definitely the bastard children… little orphans of the fatosphere. I’m so glad I’ve got all of you as my sisters in this fight.
Peace,
Shannon
Elizabeth - That is why FFF succeeds - we’re nice to, we listen to, include, and encourage anyone who wants to further the movement and we don’t demand that they adhere to any one set of doctrine.
Hell, I felt rejected by FA, and still do, sometimes (other than here). First off, I’m a super-fat, so I’m not in the majority of what actual “obese” people in this stupid “epidemic” look like (I could be one of those headless fatties on the scare-tactic articles). Second, I’m disabled so there’s a good stereotype for ya. Third, I don’t practice HAES (or what the hard-liners preach as HAES, anyway). Yeah, I eat well, I don’t have much choice there - DH has type 2 diabetes and if I want to help him control it, I have to cook differently than I would for just me. But I don’t exercise consistently - it causes me to be in severe pain, and I’m just not into that kind of pain. And it sucks that this is the only place I can admit any of that without fear of judgment. Because I had this image of FA when I first started reading about it - that it was about rights for all fat people, no matter what they did or didn’t do. But now it seems like some people only give lip service to that ideal. If you’re fat and diet, no rights/membership for you, if you don’t practice HAES, no rights/membership for you, if you don’t exercise, no rights/membership for you, and the reasons to exclude people go on and on and on. This is not a movement that can afford to exclude people who genuinely want to help and believe that fat people are human beings with an inborn right to basic dignity and respect, but you wouldn’t know it from the way some of the people in FA act, especially when you mention letting a dieting fat person join.
vesta44,
Nobody should be excluded for their personal choices. Your health is your business. I thought that was the central tenet of Fat Acceptance, but I guess not.
Well, it will be in our Fat Acceptance World.
Peace,
Shannon
vesta44 -
I’m also super fat AND disabled, so I’m totally on the same page with you!
I know the gist of this post is serious, and as I have declared my undying love for Shannon already, please know I’m on team Shannon on this one. I just had to comment on the aside regarding Veronica’s taste in Black Adder seasons, because OMG, I thought I was the only one who thought Rowan Atkinson (not a traditionally handsome man, but very funny and very talented) just ROCKS in that season. Honestly, men should have to dress like that now-tights, cod pieces, foofy shirts-the whole nine yards. So hot!!!! My hubby thinks I’m crazy, but a smart man in tights who can make me laugh? I melt like butter…………………
CollieMom01,
I think you’re weird too! Although I love “Black Adder.” I feel like I learned so much about British history through it. I still can’t see the man as anyone other than the big-nostrilled Mr. Bean, even with a cod piece. When I wrestled in high school, I would have loved to wear a cod piece, though. Much less embarrassing than those stupid skin-tight singlets!
I wouldn’t have added the Rowan pics if I didn’t want some comments.
Peace,
Shannon
On a more serious note, I have to say that what hurts most of all in the FA blogosphere is the lack of diverse voices that are allowed to speak. Unless you completely agree with some of those voices, your voice is silenced-and not politely. But the truth is, we should all be on the same side-I mean, who amongst us disagrees that fat bodies should be treated with respect in the same way that every other type of body should be. The fact that I still struggle with the idea of dieting, even if only to delude myself that I will be healthier if I lose 40 or 50# shouldn’t mean that my voice should not be heard. I get the message of FA. I get the message of HAES. I agree with all of it intellectually. It’s the daily living, inside this fat body, where the message gets harder to hear and harder still to believe. I’m a work in progress; I shouldn’t feel excluded if I’m not “there” yet.
This is the nail, this is it’s head. You have struck it squarely.
We’re here to open up a new branch of Fat Acceptance, one that does not require a perfect activism. We provide the resources, you provide the intellectual curiosity and desire to learn. Besides, I don’t know how we could run the show any other way. Who could possibly monitor the internal struggles of all the activists and advocates out there?
I’m glad you’re a work in progress because a completed work is oh-so-boring.
Peace,
Shannon
Shannon and all….I am happy to have come across this blog. I found it following Shannon’s link on his comment on the Huffington Post article about being fat and stupid; A ridiculous, unscientific, waste of time and money spent. Unfortunately the bell cannot be un-rung, no matter how many terrific, sane comments there are, and the flame of fat hatred was fanned once again.
I do want to commend your efforts here to be inclusive. I am the current President of ASDAH, the Association for Size Diversity and Health. ASDAH is an international org with a diverse membership of activists, researchers, clinicians and educators working to promote the Health At Every Size(SM) approach to wellness. Although we do not all agree with each other on some fundamental approaches to HAES(SM), we do all agree that weight does not determine health and that people of all shapes and sizes should be able to pursue health and wellness without discrimination or to further some financial agenda. I did see some comments on HAES(SM) and if anyone has any questions about the HAES(SM) approach or how it works with FA or whatever, I would be happy to help. In the meantime my personal philosophy is to take the small circle that some have drawn that has no place for me, and make a larger circle, so I may have a place for them.
Peace
Deb Lemire, President
The Association for Size Diversity and Health
http://www.sizediversityandhealth.org
Hi Deb,
Thanks for the comment. It got caught in our spam filter, which Elizebeth noticed. Thanks for the reassurance and the offer. If you would want to write a guest post about HAES some time, we would love to post it. We’re HAES-friendly here and think it is the most rational, reasonable and inclusive way to promote health.
I’m glad to be a part of that larger circle.
Peace,
Shannon
CollisMomo1 - You don’t have to worry about being excluded here. I would have to say FFF is the most inclusive place in FA. I’m not there yet, and I’ve been FA blogging for 3 years (almost 4, now). I’m adamantly against dieting, but even I wonder sometimes if there isn’t a diet out there somewhere that just might work for me, this time (even though they never have in the past). That mindset is pernicious and wiping it out is hard work, and you can’t do it alone. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging, and why I read as many FA blogs as I do. I may not agree with everything every one of them says, but they all give me things to think about, and I take what I can use, apply it to my life, and discard what I can’t use. I’m farther along the road to FA than I was 4 years ago, and much farther than I was 13 years ago, when I agreed to WLS (stomach-stapling, so I could lose enough weight to have my knees replaced when the time came. Yeah, that worked real well…..NOT). We’re all works in progress………………
Thanks for the warm welcome, guys. I have been away for a bit (busy summer)and I don’t comment very much, just because others seem to be able to articulate my thoughts just as well or better than I can, but I have to say that I have always felt very welcomed here, and that’s a great feeling. I read all kinds of FA blogs as well; some I agree with, some I just don’t, but I refrain from getting into anything “controversial” because I don’t want to deal with the drama. Maybe I’m too sensitive, but I’ve lived my entire life living in a body that wasn’t “enough”-not pretty enough, not thin enough, not smart enough”, etc., etc., etc. I don’t need to get that crap from people who are supposed to be something of a support system, and it’s very refreshing to know that I can come here, disagree if I feel like it, voice that disagreement if I choose, and not get the smack down because of it. I’ll be popping up more often, just to say “hi”, and to let you all know how much I value your site.
CollieMom01 -
“I don’t need to get that crap from people who are supposed to be something of a support system…”
That is a sentiment I have thought and ranted about so many times. I suppose my definition of “safe space” is a place where people don’t jump on me for having my own opinion.
CollieMom1,
And, again, welcome back!
We don’t care if you think we’re full of crap. We have a sort of Golden Rule of Respect here: Give respect unto others as you would like to be respected. I love fierce debates, so long as they are engaged in respectfully and honestly. I think we can only learn by having our current beliefs challenged, so challenge us often.
Peace,
Shannon