Another look at the Maura Kelly debacle.
I’ve been thinking about this whole Maura Kelly debacle. Particularly the inspiration for what she wrote:
The other day, my editor asked me, “Do you really think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?”
The original CNN article that caused her editor to wonder aloud was a fair piece of journalism. It tried to show multiple sides of the issue. But Maura Kelly wrote a one-sided opinion piece.
This made me wonder… what if the tone of the question asked by her editor was curious or even concerned, instead of judgmental? The question, on it’s own, is provocative and interesting. It’s Maura Kelly answer that’s so offensive.
Maura Kelly says that she’s disturbed by the sight of us fatties. So, her answer to the question is a resounding yes. And she goes on to imply that it’s the responsibility of us fatties to either hide ourselves or get thin, so that she can feel comfortable.
But, what if we were to ask that question again, forgetting Maura’s answer? Are people uncomfortable seeing us fatties being affectionate on TV?
My answer would be, “Yeah, I believe that kind of bigotry exists.” As a fat woman, I know people stare at me on the street and probably feel uncomfortable when I display affection for my fat husband. That’s how bigotry works. It makes things that should be just run of the mill seem shocking.
People think negatively of us, so they get uncomfortable seeing us living our lives. And that discomfort includes seeing our lives portrayed on TV. But you know how to end that discomfort? Show more of us living our lives so that more people have to face up to their bigotry.
I put the responsibility to change on those who are being bigoted. I think Maura Kelly needs to spend some time being introspective and examining why she’s so hateful. Even in her apology, she continues to rationalize her opinion because she was talking about the “morbidly obese.”
This is one of those instances where desensitization is a good thing. The more us fatties are visible, the less people will be scandalized. I wish there were more fat characters on TV to make the likes of Maura Kelly uncomfortable.
I’m just gonna have to be extra affectionate the next time my husband and I go out, to show the world that it needs to be okay with a fattie like me living my life, not the other way around.
I loved this! Thank you for pointing to the bigots straight-up! Also, I love that there are all of these kiss-ins today! The more visible we can be, the better I think! Hey, people might just get used to the idea!
I wish I could go to a Kiss-In. What a great idea!
It is weird being fat and affectionate in public because I feel more self-conscious than I think most thin people do in the same situation. When we go to the Y, we go swimming after our stuff and I love to hug and squeeze on Veronica because, let’s face it, is there anything sexier than a fat woman in the pool?
But I just know the young, skinny lifeguards are thinking, “Ew, gross.” But ya know what? I don’t give a shit. I love to love on V and I’m not going to hold back just because some people might be uncomfortable for it. Fuck that.
Peace,
Shannon
I can not wait until my boyfriend comes to visit around Christmas. We plan on going to Disneyland (which gets extremely crowded around the holidays) and I plan on standing in the middle of New Orleans Square (the busiest part of Disneyland) and making out with him with more passion and abandon than a child on a sugar high with Mickey in her sights.
O yes. It will happen.
I hope people go through their pictures one day and, there we’ll be… in the background over their child’s shoulder, embracing. A short, fat, rolly brunette, and a tall, fat, British vegetarian.
Geez, I wonder what our neighbors thought today then, when DH and I were out in the driveway building the frame for our new shed? And all of the people who drove by our house and had to see 2 fat people outside, sawing lumber, drilling, and nailing it together (and stealing a kiss now and then)? Or later on this evening, when we went out to dinner, and we were laughing and talking and thoroughly enjoying ourselves, what did the people in the restaurant think? Ya know what? I don’t really care what they thought. They’ll just have to get used to seeing me and my husband out and about, having fun, holding hands, stealing kisses, and doing all the things that people do because we’re not about to hide in the house just because some asshats don’t like looking at fat people.
Vesta44,
You were nailing it outside? Now that takes balls. We should have a Nailing It In outside their offices. Now that would get some press.
Peace,
Shannon
Thanks for the comments!
I think one way we win against fat-hate is when we’re secure enough that it doesn’t strike us to be self-conscious. When we DON’T stop living our lives becasue of the way people perceive us. Acting the same way anyone else would in public is a form of implicit activism. A silent protest, if you will.
And, yeah, I also love the idea of fattie kiss-ins. That is a very cool idea.
The idea that people would be uncomfortable seeing fat people being affectionate actually hadn’t crossed my mind until I read the Maura Kelly article. I am not usually affectionate in public because I’m gay the last thing I want is some homophobic asshole to make rude comments or get violent. But I had no problem with it when I used to date men. Or maybe I’m wrong, I just assumed that the few people who looked were looking because my relationships were usually interracial. Huh.
Wow, Vitty, talk about intersectionality. I think you would probably get more disgusted looks if you were a gay man. I think gay women are slightly more acceptable in our society because the sexualization of lesbians has made it almost chic, ya know? Of course, I’m a cis-sexual male, so what the hell do I know?
Peace,
Shannon
While I do think it’s often “safer” to be a queer woman in our society than to be a queer man, do not underestimate the capacity of people to be homophobic assholes.
I’m lucky enough to live in a place where I would feel safe engaging in some PDA with a lady, but I know that most of the world isn’t like that.
I live in Toronto which is a remarkably tolerant place, but I still think twice depending on the situation or where in the city I am.
Completely understandable. You have a better feel for the homophobia than I do.
Peace,
Shannon
Simone, I’m definitely not dismissing our society’s capability for homophobic hatred in the least. I just meant that gay men seem to receive more hostility than gay women, just as fat women seem to receive more hostility than fat men. It’s all those BS gender codes that make assholes target one sub-group more than another.
Peace,
Shannon