I prefer a body diversity perspective.
Body politics is a funny thing. The “politics” part of it means that we’re talking about people with differing opinions. So, even within our group, the messages we’re trying to communicate and the goals we’re trying to achieve don’t always match.
I get concerned when I hear about seeing “real women” in the media. Just like I feel concerned when I hear about some people being “too fat” or “too thin.” I think all people, regardless of shape or size, deserve respect and to be seen.
When it comes to the discussion of “real women,” that idea can seem just as limiting as saying that only thin women are beautiful and deserve the spotlight. What does a “real” woman even look like? Is she the statistical average? Or is there a range of shapes and sizes that we can call “real?”
I also think the fear and judgment of being “too thin” (and it’s association with anorexia) is no more helpful than the fear and judgment of “obesity” and its association with being metabolically unhealthy. If I’m going to insist on believing that some of us are naturally fat, then it falls in line that I also believe some people are naturally thin.
I think our bodies fall naturally into a spectrum with a minority of us falling into the extremes. The sad part is that society fusses about the extremes.
Wishing for a body diverse perspective is my personal goal. We each have vastly different viewpoints about what we’re fighting for or how to get it. Each fighting our own little war against the civilized oppression we experience.
In my little war, I want to get away from shallow judgments. I think it’d be nice if my fat was a non-issue. People come in a range of shapes and sizes and I want to be respected and represented, just like everyone else.
Good points! I had a great discussion last week about how the “grass is always greener”. Some people want more curves, others want to lose their pooch, & most can’t seem to find a way to be happy with what they have.
A woman is a woman. Being fat, thin or in-between won’t change that. Neither will how much makeup she wears (or doesn’t wear), what color hair she currently has (or if she has hair at all), what she chooses to wear (or not wear) or what parts she’s had removed (or added in). We all know that womanhood is about more than what we look like, yet there seems to be a bias against women who fit the media accepted “mold” just as much as there is with women who don’t. We scream that women should be accepted in all shapes and sizes, yet only in the sizes that don’t make us feel “bad”. There should be more of an emphasis on moving past what we think a real woman should look like (which is subjective), and realize that real women come in many different, lovely, pretty & REAL packages.
It seems that now, more than ever, we are given examples of so many differently shaped women all over the place, that is, if you choose to look past the fashion magazines and music videos. It’s time to celebrate and pull our heads out of our asses. We’re all responsible for our own attitudes, and can choose to celebrate women in all their forms. Demonizing thin women (who may in fact be naturally thin) is not the way to promote change. Celebrating ALL women is.
Nice read.
Welcome, Chichi, and you nailed it. There’s a similar “real” man dynamic, but it doesn’t have nearly the hold on men as the “real woman” canard does. As men, we aren’t expected to wear certain things, talk certain ways or make certain sacrifices. The definition of a man is fairly flexible and robust (with exceptions… I’d say that gay or effeminate men are discriminated against in this regard), but with women, it’s a very narrow, very rigid set of requirements.
I think women just need to continue saying, “No, that’s not what being a woman means, but thanks for playing” and defining womanhood for themselves, rather than letting the media dictate it for them.
Peace,
Shannon
Hey Shannon, Just thought i would link to an insightful comment made by Miriam Heddy on blog post I did about some of the stuff that Fat Men deal with… I think it ads to this string, but feel free to delete.. the comment is the third from the top… ( i could only figure out how to link to all the comments instead of Miriam’s specifically…) http://fatinnyc.blogspot.com/2010/04/man-up-bias-hatred-and-prejudice-oh-my.html#comments
Don’t ever want to diminish the serious nature and the fact that our fat sisters deal with more hatred, bias, & stupidity than fat guys. However, this is a subject that is very important to me…
Viva la Diversity!!!
Thanks Ivan, I’ll check it out when I get a minute.
Peace,
Shannon
I agree
I love the phrase “civilized oppression.” That’s really what we’ve become as a nation now, isn’t it? No, we’re not forming lynch mobs and Klan rallies, we’re just hurling verbal mortars over the safe confines of our digital castle. Of course, the end result is still the same… kids are killing themselves both literally (in the case of the recent gay teen suicides) and figuratively (in the case of body dysmorphia and its attendant consequences).
Oh, we’re civil, all right, but we’re still inflicting damage on untold victims who are often caught in the crossfire of “civil discourse.”
And the “real woman” thing is bullshit.
Peace,
Shannon
I wish I could claim credit but I got the phrase from Obesity Timebomb, she talked about it in her post Concern trolling the fatties aka civilised oppression.
I agree. It’s a great way to express what we’re dealing with.
I feel like many calls for depictions of “real women” in the media, particularly print media, are fundamentally misunderstood as insults towards thin women. While a more diverse inclusive beauty ideal is the goal, the small battle is over literally “real” vs. “fake women. When I call for “real women” I mean just that. Women who were born of a mother, not a blurred, liquefied, and whittled image constructed out of deeply edited pictures of parts belonging to different women.
Hi Shorty and welcome to Fierce Fatties.
I agree with your assessment to a certain extent. I agree that “real” vs. “fake” could be used to compare media-based beauty and “on the ground” beauty (see Jezebel’s excellent post on Playboy for a vivid example).
I do still hear real, actual people saying things akin to “Real women have curves.” And, personally, I think this is a reaction to non-idealized women being ignored and dismissed for so long, that they are asserting their “realness” and embracing their beauty in spite of what has the media has turned into a cookie-cutter kind of beauty. Combine this with the jealousy and bitterness that often exists between women for perceived advantages in beauty (aka, being closer to the cookie-cutter) and you find a genuine reason for women to be reclaiming their “realness.”
But this unnecessarily punishes women who were born with the genetic predisposition to look like that cultural ideal. There are some women who naturally are slender, tall, blond and fair-skinned, and they shouldn’t be automatically lumped in with the “fake” media representations.
I think it does happen, but people are getting wise to the problem with distinguishing between “real” and “fake”.
Thanks for commenting.
Peace,
Shannon
Great Post. I truly believe in respecting diverse bodies. I am not a fan of the “real women” phrase because all women are real women; we’re humans. That’s not what positive body image is about and not what fat acceptance is about (I hope).
“In my little war, I want to get away from shallow judgments. I think it’d be nice if my fat was a non-issue. People come in a range of shapes and sizes and I want to be respected and represented, just like everyone else.”-Exactly
This is an awesome post! Your last line really sums up everything perfectly. No matter what size you are everyone does indeed deserve respect!