In the new year, be good to yourself.
I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. They’re often very negative, about changing traits people don’t like about themselves. Also, it seems odd to me that people decide only once a year is a good time to try to make their lives better.
I think we should be open to not hating ourselves every day and that means changing those things in our lives that make us unhappy on a rolling basis. But it’s not really my business to tell people on what timeline they should work on themselves and once a year is better than none.
There are some things in life that most of us can change with a little persistence and dedication. Like eating a piece of fruit a day or getting your servings of vegetables. Then again, that may seem easy for some and yet not be easy for everyone.
If you’re someone that hates fruits and vegetables, or your food budget is inconsistent, you may have to work harder than others to find ways to make that change happen. Another example is getting enough exercise. Exercise is easy for some, but for me it’s a constant battle against my body.
In my life, I look at things as a cost-benefit ratio. What are the things I can change, or need to change, as compared to the things I’d be better off just accepting. For most of my life I’ve believed my weight is something I just need to accept because all the people around me that tried to lose weight were constantly failing.
I now know that the chances of me losing weight and keeping it off are 2-10%. And I know that if I get exercise and nutrition, there are PhD’s saying I can be relatively healthy. I’ll take the route where I feel I can succeed instead of the low-odds gamble.
What I would wish for anyone trying to make a change in their life this new year is for you to be patient and understanding with yourself. Sometimes your situation may be different from those around you. Where they succeed with ease, you may struggle.
If the outcome is important to you, then I understand your drive and persistence. But don’t let your New Years’ resolution become another excuse to hate on yourself. Life is hard enough without us beating up on ourselves because our effort doesn’t always bring us a win.
Like the title said: be good to yourself in this the new year. I hope than any change you decide to make is ultimately about seeking happiness and that it helps you find that, even if the outcome isn’t what you expect.
I agree! “Be Good To Yourself” is an awesome resolution!
I think my “be good to myself” resolution is going to be to cut out the really worst refined sugar from my life. For instance, candy and chocolate. I think that I will feel better. However, I am still keeping an open mind, and definitely not counting calories. I am just tired of the sugar highs and lows. The whole point is to feel better, right? Happy New Year everyone!
Molly,
Someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that in HAES, you’re supposed to try and pay attention to your body’s “messages.” For example, you’re supposed to learn your hunger and satiety cues, which helps you eat what you’re hungry for, rather than eating past fullness. But another thing (I’m pretty sure, it’s been a while since I’ve read it) is paying attention to how your body responds to certain foods. If you’re jittery and nervous after drinking a soda, then try not drinking it and see how you feel. Soda tastes awesome, but if it’s causing noticeable negative health effects, then it’s up to you to decide whether it’s worth it.
So, if you get highs and lows and they bother you, experiment and see if there’s an amount that doesn’t do the same. And try experimenting with other snacks to satisfy your cravings when you’re nippish to replace whatever candy and chocolate you cut out.
And if you try and don’t like it, then you can either try something else or go back to whatever you prefer. Health is about finding the changes you can make for a lifetime, and feeling bad or guilty about not giving up some food or another is not worth the agony. If you can’t or don’t want to do Healthy Option A, try Healthy Option B. Whatever one seems sustainable, go with it.
And, of course, if you don’t want to improve your health, that’s up to you as well. It’s your body, your life, and you have to spend it doing what you think is right. And I hope you find that thing and that it makes you happy.
Peace,
Shannon
Elizebeth,
Great post. I don’t want to be a healthist, but I feel like telling people who are considering a weight loss resolution this year to consider doing Health at Every Size instead. Although I would definitely wish them a year of self-acceptance, I don’t know if it’s my place to recommend HAES. But if they’re going to be punishing themselves with futile weight loss pursuits anyway, they may as well know about HAES, right?
I want to promote HAES, but I’m so afraid of being healthist sometimes that I hesitate to talk about it. But I feel that we should be educating people about it as much as possible. Next year, I would love to do promote some sort of New Year’s HAES Resolution as an alternative to people who are sick of weight loss resolutions.
And one of the three pillars of HAES is to love yourself, so I totally love that you posted this. Self-acceptance is probably Step One of HAES because you have to surrender the control and hope that weight loss (temporarily) provides.
Anyway, thank you for writing this. I hope people will take your words to heart.
Peace,
Shannon
“…be good to yourself in this the new year.”— I like
People need to stop comparing themselves to others and do what is best for them. Also, it is ok to fail, no one is perfect.