Angry Fat Girl?

I want to thank K Robinson for his/her comment on my post “Side Effects May Include Weight Loss”

Part of the comment stated:

You appear by your writing to have a very angry and resentful attitude. Is that a fact?

I responded – in part:

If I seem angry and resentful, (and I may well be at times) it is perhaps because I am an extensively well-read, fat professional dancer who enjoys perfect metabolic health, can do ten 2-min on, 1 minute off 95% heart rate intervals, press 1,000 pounds with her legs, and do the splits, who is forever being lectured on weight and health by people far less fit than she, who have done far less research about the subject. It can certainly grow tiresome.

I prefer to choose happiness and for the most part I succeed. But sometimes I just spend some time being pissed. Being a super fit fat person is a weird place to be in our culture:

The best of it is that I walk through the world knowing that I am extremely fit. Whether judged on the basis of metabolic health, strength, stamina, or flexibility I am in the tippy-top percentiles. Plus I can do 24 double-time chainee turns in a row and end in a perfect standing backbend without breaking a sweat. So, when someone gives me a hard time, I can generally assume that they cannot do what I can do, which definitely helps get me through idiotic exchanges about weight and health.

The worst of it is that many, many people make assumptions about me. Often if I tell them what is true, they DO NOT BELIEVE ME, or I spend so much time saying how healthy that I am (as I have been doing in this post) that I sound like a braggart and/or a nuisance. My friends who are thin but sedentary and unhealthy seem to never be assumed to be unhealthy and would probably not be challenged if they said that they can do what I can do. It can get a little frustrating.

In the end, I don’t think that I’m angry and resentful that often, sometimes I think people misunderstand:

I’m not afraid of conflict – I’m an honest and direct communicator and some people mistake that to be anger or resentment.

I speak out strongly against common myths and misconceptions about weight and health, and when you do that people sometimes think that you’re just some angry fat girl with a chip on her shoulder.

Of course sometimes I just tire of it or I get too much bs at one time and that leads to a brief period of anger and/or resentment – which sometimes occurs on this blog. I don’t deny that and I don’t apologize for it – I think that anyone who walks the path that Body Positive fat people walk may be prone to those episodes but even if it’s just me, I’m still ok with that. As I tell my dance team when we’re doing our 6 minute wall sit: it’s not about falling down – it’s only about getting back up.

There’s a quote I really like and I can’t find who said it but I often think of it when I’m slogging through something like this:

Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.

So thanks K Robinson for helping me get clarity and giving me a chance to stand back up. I find myself neither angry nor resentful. It turns out that I am grateful. I’m grateful to K Robinson and grateful for my ongoing great health. I’m a happy fat girl!