Would you hire me?
I am a fat woman looking for a job.
My appearance was one of the very first things I worried about when I was thinking about getting a job. I did research about what I could do to improve my chances as a fat woman. Confidence and apperance seemed to be the two most important factors.
I already have confidence covered, so I searched thrift stores and Walmart and Target until I felt I had a really nice outfit.
Yesterday I got an email saying I didn’t get a job. It was a job for a call center (a job I’m overqualified for. ) I went through three phone interviews before they called me in for a face-to-face interview.
While I can easily find research that says my fat is going to keep me from getting a job, I’d prefer to focus on the fact that there are a list of other reasons I might not have gotten this job.
To start off with, I’ve been out of the workforce for more than five years and I didn’t have any plans to return before my impending divorce. Effectively, I’m a displaced homemaker.
Also, I have pre-existing health issues that affecting my past work history and what I’m currently looking for. I have more than 5 years of professional office experience but I would eagerly take a retail job, if I thought I could handle it. (I tried to take a part time job at McDonalds once and lasted two days. I was sick for two weeks.)
But you know that really makes me think my appearance is the least of my concerns? The economy. In the Sacramento Metro Area (where I’m living) there is a 7-1 ratio of job seekers per job postings and in the US the average length of unemployment is 6 months.
I’ve been actively looking for about 3 months and I’ve sent out at least 100 resumes…and the call center job was my FIRST CALL BACK. (And then it was my first interview in 5 years.)
I think I did okay in the interview. A couple question surprised me but I generally come off as smart and confident (because I am those things) so I don’t think I totally flubbed it. If my BMI was a factor, I did everything I could to overcome it.
I’d rather focus on the slew of other possibly reasons they went with someone else. Maybe there was another application with more experience, or more recent experience, or that knew someone in the company, or had great references, or totally nailed the interview.
I can’t afford to get disheartened right now. Looking for a job, in this economy, is incredibly depressing. I’m going to stubbornly hold onto the believe that my persistence will win in the end.
I will get a job, even if it takes me friggen forever. Darn it!
Keep at it, lady!
I recently moved and had to look for a new job. Luckily I had a long work history and found a position right up my alley. I can’t imagine trying to re-enter the workforce right now.
If I may suggest, perhaps check out receptionist positions in hospice, nursing homes, etc. I’ve found these places are less interested in the size of your ass and more interested in the size of your heart.
Good luck!
mamacarriemakes -
Thanks for the well wishes! And I’ll take your advice to look in healthcare, I think you may be right about that.
I could use a little of your optimism. I hold a professional degree, but I’m fat, unemployed _and_ autistic. While I don’t wave my hands at employers and go HEY I HAVE ASPERGER’S SYNDROME, it does limit the pool of jobs I can handle. Between that and my roommate being laid up for two months with a condition that required major surgery, it’s really hard for me to have any hope that I’ll find something anytime soon.
CC-
I wish I was optimistic. I feel more desperately determined. It’s true I firmly believe persistence will win out in the end but it’s not as easy to be hopeful about WHEN that end will be. I wish I could believe it’ll be sooner, than later.
Eliz
Ahhh, if we could only figure out how to spin straw into gold, we could take our collective passionate, activist, blog writing chutzpah and make millions!! Good luck in the job hunt!
Dr. Deah -
Too true. Thanks!
It’s good that you are focusing on the things you can control, unlike others’ prejudices from misinformation and personal opinions.
Good luck.
I’m in your situation except I’ve had three bouts of unemployment within the last three years. The first came at the end of 2009 after being told I was no longer a fit with the company after being there for four years and having seniority over everyone else. (I suspect the director was afraid I was going to try and take over the place, not to mention, this was a Christian non-profit and the woman that replaced me was a church volunteer, but there’s no proof of religious discrimination).
The second came after I had to quit a call center job because my grandfather, whom I live with, became so ill I thought he was going to die. So for the next seven months (April ’10 - November ’10) I cared for him. The only place that would hire me was the State of Maryland and that only lasted six months. So now it’s June and I’ve been out of work for a month. I did get a call from a staffing agency about a possible interview for an admin position, and I went to an information session about a job for a new Kohl’s warehouse opening up this summer.
It’s just going to be a long, slow process. Sometimes I wonder if my fat keeps HR away but like you said, the unemployment situation is so bad, there are just not enough jobs and too many applicants. Also, they may have thought since you were overqualified, you might have gotten bored and not stayed. I was actually told that years ago when I applied for a low-paying office clerk job. Call centers are not the easiest or most rewarding places to work for and I know—I did it twice!
Good luck—we’re both bound to find something, hopefully before the year is through!
lifeonfats -
I’m trying to not letting my desperation push away prospects. I really would take just about any office job…and eagerly.
Make you a deal? I’ll believe that things will go good for you, if you’ll do the same for me?
Eliz
This is the right attitude to have. This is a healthy attitude to have with regards to your weight and other people. Could it have been a factor? Sure. But there may have been a dozen other things that actually were the reason. From the ones you listed to maybe you looked like the interviewer’s ex-wife (ex-husband)… you wore a religious symbol and it was one the interviewer dislikes, etc.
You may never know why you didn’t get the job (I think your original reasons probably played a role). But you have the right attitude. If you sat around blaming the rejection on your weight… something that may have had nothing to do with that… you’re just playing into the unhealthy obsession our culture has with weight. As if your life would be magically better if you lost 15 pounds.
“I would have never been turned down when I asked her out if I weighed less.”
“I would be happier if only I could lose some weight.”
“I would be better at soccer if I was thin!” {Note: This is one I sometimes think. I like soccer but am notoriously bad at it. I was horribly bad at it when I was a kid. I was thin as a kid. But I still believe that I would suddenly be skilled if I was thinner. Knowing how dumb this feeling is doesn’t make it vanish.}
A healthy attitude towards our weight is one that doesn’t focus on it… doesn’t use it as an excuse… doesn’t use it at a scapegoat.
I know you know this. LOL
I just wanted to say, “I agree with everything you said.” But that seemed way too short.
Kevin -
Thanks! I appreciate the passion of you response.
Eliz
About 2 years ago I went through a 6 month period of unemployment. Yes, there were jobs I went for where I have no doubt my fatness counted against me, particularly those I interviewed for through agencies (not sure why that is the case, but it was my experience despite 12 years corporate experience in my field). But none of the jobs I interviewed for were truly “me” until the last month I interviewed for two jobs I was truly passionate about (NFP arts orgs), both in the same week and received offers for both I think the difference was partly my passion and partly a values match; they cared more about my skills and potential contribution than my size, whereas with corporates it was the opposite. Persevere and keep positive. The right job will come along.
Fatadelic -
I thought the guy I interviewed with seemed sweet but it wasn’t the most comfortable interview I’ve ever been on. And that is another reason to add to the list of possible reasons I might not have gotten the job: chemistry.
Who knows what impression the guy had from me in that small timeframe. Maybe I came off way more nervous that I realized or he didn’t like the way I said “Hi.” (LOL)
I am hopeful because I got to a fourth interview. If I can do it once, I’m sure I can do it again. I’m putting my faith in the idea that you’ve got it right, “The right job will come along.”
Eliz
In an ideal world hiring managers care more about
Right now companies have their pic of applicants and if I had to hazard a guess I would bet the work history is more compelling than anything else.
Blaze -
Very true.
Eliz
This article was in the N.Y. Times today and it feels related to your post. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/03/opinion/03glass.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha212 It’s called: Heavy in School, Burdened for Life
By CHRISTY M. GLASS, STEVEN A. HAAS AND ERIC N. REITHER
Published: June 2, 2024
Dr. Deah -
Good article. I’m even a great example of that. I have “some college.” I went back to college at one point and then had to go back to work because money was too tight…so I have like 73 units (mostly computer classes) but no AS.
Eliz
I know there is some prejudice against larger people from the small minded, but I also think the job market is tough as a whole. My son, who is a slender young white man, is having trouble getting a job too, although in his case his youth may be working against him. Meh-who knows how these people think? Hopefully you will soon find a business that is run by sensible people who want someone capable and intelligent. Then you will get the job!
Yes, I would hire you.:) I’m looking for full-time employment myself and it’s next to impossible. I signed up with a temp agency in the hope that it would help, but I haven’t finished my degree yet. That’s the biggest thing that works against people, and that’s why so many older adults are going back to community college.
Anyway, I’m chiming in with the others and saying there are a lot of reasons you might not have gotten the job, and you’re not alone. It’s lousy company, but at least it’s company, and it even includes thinnies.
In the town where I live, Santa Cruz, CA, there is a law that you cannot be discriminated against because of your body size.
To some extent, I am very happy about this, because it’s one of the only places in the whole country that allows people of size (and those who lack it) to fight back if they feel that the reason that they were not picked for a job is due to body size.
I work at a job with many people of diverse sizes, ages and demographics. I find myself very very lucky to live where I do, but the cost of living is quite prohibitive. I find that it balances out because even though I am a lady of size, I can still ride my bicycle to and from work, and work in daily movement to my day. It makes me feel good and that is the only way I can truly keep myself going sometimes with the depressing nature of this current economy.
Update: I interviewed for an office services clerk job with the county Infants & Toddlers program and I got it. I start Wednesday. 350 applied, they narrowed down to 8 of us.
Good luck with your job search and let us know if you get hired!