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Monday spry, friday fatigue.

July 25, 2024

I walk a total of two-and-a-half miles every day to and from the bus. My walk on Monday morning is nice. I love the crisp air and how quiet it is at 5 a.m. before most other people have left for work. Also, I’m refreshed from a weekend of sleep and relaxation.

Friday morning is another story entirely. As I leave for work, I feel like I want to cry. I’m tired and achy and just generally worn out. I’m also determined to make it to my new job EVERY DAY, so I force myself to take that walk.

This fatigue I’m experiencing is NOT about being fat, it’s about being disabled. Three weeks into my new job, I should be getting stronger the more I walk and the more my stamina increases. And it’s true that each Monday morning I notice how much easier it is to walk because my muscles are more in shape.

I suffer from exercise-induced fatigue and have much of my life. As many of you know, I have numerous health issues, which has the generic diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome. Now that I’m working, I sleep a lot, I don’t go out on weeknights, and I spent the weekend recouping, so I can be ready for my work week.

It’s VERY worth it because this is the price I have to pay for financial freedom and to move past the end of my marriage.

Despite being fat and being disabled, I DO NOT believe ill health and a heavier weight go hand-in-hand. While this is purely anecdotal evidence, the majority of my fat friends DON’T experience exercise-induced fatigue. Most of them are in perfectly good health, and the few that suffer from health issues don’t express the same struggles with exercise that I do.

I hear them talking about struggles with motivation or to find the time, but I also hear them saying that they feel better when they have a regular routine of exercise. So, a part of me really resents it when the general populace says that all fat people are unhealthy because I feel like it belittles my reality.

I believe my experience is an exception to the norm… but, even if it were normal, I think the world should be a little more sympathetic. Being disabled and trying to be a productive member of society is a daily struggle. Maybe fat is a symptom of my illness, but why am I being judged for that?

Over the last five years of being homebound, I forgot how much I loved working. At the moment, I feel like going to my wonderful new job every day is worth the fatigue, and even the lack of a social life. I like being productive and getting out of the house and receiving a regular paycheck.

I kinda feel like a retiree that just decided to go back to work because doing nothing is really boring. I like my new life and, despite any struggles I may be experiencing, I’m grateful for the small graces.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. atchka permalink*
    July 25, 2024 12:02 pm

    I’m glad you’re enjoying your new job. Two-and-a-half miles, though? Holy crap! That’s a shitload. At least your body seems to be keeping up. Good luck, Elizebeth!

    Peace,
    Shannon

  2. NewMe permalink
    July 25, 2024 1:16 pm

    Two and a half miles! That’s fantastic! I wish I could do that!

    I too am disabled. I can’t throw myself into any new kind of exercise without running the risk of rupturing another disc or making my knee swell up like a balloon. I have to be incredibly careful with whatever I do, including how much I walk. I can’t even swim like I used to without aggravating my hip, my knee and my back.

    I know that “eat less, move more” is a load of manure, but I wish I could move just somewhat more. I would be really happy not to have a sword of Damocles hanging over me, telling me to stop what I’m doing for fear of making my physical situation even worse. As it is, I’ve decided to move as much as I can (mostly gentle yoga and some walking) and NOT starve.

    Be well and congratulations on the new job!

  3. Faycin A Croud permalink
    July 26, 2024 12:12 am

    I have fibromyalgia and it took me a long time to stop thinking of myself as lazy because I fatigue easier and stay fatigued longer than “normal” people. It affects my mood too. When I was still working as a CNA in health care I called in a LOT and almost lost my job because of it. Once I switched to being an emergency contact person in the independent retirement community, I have been able to work steadily and have hardly ever taken time off that wasn’t pre-arranged, because I don’t have to constantly lift, transfer, turn, and change uncooperative people, so my muscles aren’t in a constant state of extreme fatigue and aching. I sympathize with anyone who has a condition such as you or I do because most people don’t understand that we may look able-bodied but under the skin there lies a different story. I wish you the best.

  4. MrsS permalink
    July 27, 2024 11:36 am

    A friend of mine has fibromyalgia and she says that she needs to exercise in order to maintain any kind of strength and mobility. She walks and does light weights, no heavy aerobics. Faycin, I know what your mean - my friend looks “able-bodied,” as you say.

    Elizabeth, a lot of lean people wouldn’t like taking that walk, either. A couple of thoughts: Do you allow more time on Friday mornings for the walk? Do you feel that you must keep moving without taking a break here and there? Maybe going more slowly and taking time out will help on those Friday mornings. I don’t know, really.

    I admire you very much.

  5. Faycin A Croud permalink
    July 28, 2024 11:41 pm

    I’m fortunate that they have a therapy pool where I work and I have access to it. It makes exercising a lot more possible for me.
    A two and a half mile walk every day would kick my butt. Not only my fibro but my sciatica would be screaming bloody murder at me!

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