Touchy Touchy —
So, I have this dilemma.
I received an email this week from Amanda Abdominis who writes a blog, along with two other women (and two men, although her email only mentions the women) called Feedee World.
She wants to join the FFFFeed, ironically enough.
Hi There,
I was wondering if my blog could be included in your Feed. , I run it with 2 other amazing feminist and very intelligent friends of mine (1 in Milwaukee, and the other in Alberta, Canada). Along with the odd guest post.
Here’s the rub — we are all women Feedees, as in active participants in Feederism. Our blog is dedicated to Fat Sexuality but with a particular emphasis on Feederism and Fat Admiration, along with discussions on Fat Feminism, and Fat topics. As women, we feel that news for our minority sexual group/fetish is under reported or overly biased. I’m not saying Feederism is perfect, but there are those of us who tried to make it better, but discussing the ethics, rules, and how it operates in real life.
Anyway, hope you consider adding the blog. Or, at least checking it out.
Sincerely,
Amanda
Typically, I’d toss it in the hopper and be done with it, but I can’t do that with this one, obviously. The subject of Feederism is wrought with problems and I will not promote caloric manipulation in any form. Being a feeder is the other side of the anorexia coin, and until someone can provide me with convincing evidence to the contrary, I don’t think there is ever a safe or healthy way to intentionally lose or gain significant amounts of fat.
Fat Acceptance has absolutely nothing to do with Feederism, contrary to popular belief. As Elizebeth eloquently wrote:
In my opinion, fat rights and sexual rights are two separate issues. And the suggestion that feederism represents fat people is like saying foot fetishes represent people that have big feet.
That being said, I think that we cannot ignore the subject of feederism because it is an issue that impacts fat people, and I do not believe there is harm in discussing issues dispassionately. I expect a few people will have some strong opinions on this subject and, as always, I welcome robust, respectful debate.
The reason I am not dismissing Amanda’s email outright is that I don’t believe in infantilizing anyone (as I wrote this morning on Tumblr regarding the Muslim dress code for women and got called a mansplainer for it… go figure), including those into kinks or fetish.
Because the default assumption on feederism in Fat Acceptance is that the women are victimized and drawn into it because of low self-esteem (which I would definitely agree forms a sizable constituent of those who participate, but I wouldn’t venture to guess how much). But that negates the experience and opinions of the individuals choosing to participate in feederism.
To use the example above, it is often assumed that all Muslim women are forced to wear the burqa and would give it up if only they could escape their oppressors. But the reality is that many Muslim women freely choose the burqa as a sign of devotion to Allah. And to me, that’s cool.
The same goes for feederism or BDSM or just about any other consensual activity that takes place between adults.
No coercion? Fly your freak flag high, baby.
And since Feedee World does not seem to be pornographic in nature, I was curious how our readers would respond.
And since Fierce, Freethinking Fatties is a democratic forum, most major decisions (such as new writers) are turned over to the people who value this blog the most to decide.
This will be the same. I’m going to open the floor for debate.
Meanwhile, we’re putting it to a vote. Two questions.
The first is whether we should include it on the FFFFeed at all and the second is whether we should create a separate feed for subjects such as this, like a Fringe Feed that would be separate from the FFFFeed.
You can vote once a day. Polling ends next Friday and we’ll post the results then.
In the meantime, feel free to hash it out in the comments.
UPDATE: You will only be allowed to vote once this week now due to the link Amanda provided to her readers. I understand why she did it, but it isn’t fair to our readers. I don’t want people who don’t subscribe to the FFFFeed to influence what goes into it. So, you get one vote each, that’s it. Sorry!
Trackbacks
- Add Feedee World to the FFFFeed!! « Feedee World
- Martial Law — « Fierce, Freethinking Fatties
My initial impulse is to say that really, it doesn’t need to be here. Not because of any sort of moral judgement or whatever, but it IS a sexual fetish. It would be akin to, as you said, including a blog about foot fetishism on a feed about shoes. They’re related, but they’re not the same thing, and really I don’t think the two need to share spaces.
As far as the fringe feed goes… could they not simply create their own fat/feeder fetish feed? I’m not anti-sex by any means, but to go with your example, I’m pretty sure people who want to discuss their shoe collections, the new line put out by a favorite designer, and other matters pertaining to shoes themselves really want to hear about sex that revolves around shoes and feet.
It’s kind of the same thing to me. The realms intersect, but they’re nowhere near the same thing. I would have less trouble with it if it was merely a sex positive site for fat people, rather than a fetish site. Just because someone is fat and has an active sex life does not mean they are into fat as a fetish in and of itself.
*don’t* really want to hear about… sorry, I didn’t notice I’d missed a word there.
I’m thinking that putting their blog on the feed would be bringing a shitstorm down on us. We have enough trouble getting people to take us seriously as it is, when we’re quoting science and studies that fly in the face of what they “know” without adding fetish/fringe blogs to the mix. A feederism blog would just reinforce the stereotypes we’re trying to bust, and frankly, I’m just not up for dealing with the trolls it could bring our way (and it would bring the trolls, I can almost guarantee that).
Hi Everyone,
This is Amanda, the main writer of Feedee World, and the person who originally emailed.
I am a Feedee. I’m an active, consensual participant in Feederism. I’m also a woman. A feminist. A student. And a blogger.
I’ve been reading the Feminist and Fat Feminist websites and blogs for years. A part of me would go RAWR!! Beat down Sizeism! Down with the Patriarchy! Don’t judge people by any weight, because it’s WRONG.
Accept Feeders and Feedees. They don’t deserve any such protection or advocacy. Their sexual identity and fetish means that Fat Acceptance doesn’t represent them or fight for them. Feederists are weird. They hurt the cause. They are wrong too. Further, Fat Acceptance and all types of Fat Fetishism are forever separate, that they are mutually antagonistic.
This is according to groups like NAAFA (http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/about/Policies/FEEDERISM.pdf), or people like Hanne Blank and Dr. Samantha Murray ( http://feedeeworld.wordpress.com/2010/09/08/samantha-murray-and-why-shes-wrong/), or blogs like even this one (http://fiercefatties.com/2010/06/04/feederism-is-a-sexual-fetish/).
But this creates a conundrum for people like me, and my fellow 2 blog writors, Jenny and Mina. For my mentor, Ani. For my ex boyfriend, who is a practicing doctor. And for many, many others who subscribe to feminist thought, and also to Fat Fetishism. How dare we be both Feederists and also feminists? I can hear some of you mutter, a Feeedee can’t be a feminist! You’re not in your right mind. You’re being hurt, abused even!
The truth of the matter is, I have been this way since I was 8 years old. I have tried to stop liking this part of myself, but I can’t. It’s an integral part of myself. There is a reason why Feederists in our community refer to being in the closet with our fetish and orientation. Because we are so very much alone, and unable to express how we feel. Especially to a world that hates us and denounces us. Even to a world that says that the the Fat hate needs to stop, yet we, the Feederists, are still hated. How is that right? How is that fair?
I started Feedee World with the simple purpose of trying to express my views on my fetish/kink/sexual orientation, and how it intersects with my other beliefs. Like the ideas that women can be empowered to make their own decisions and actions, in life, careers, politics, religion, and yes, even in the bedroom. My strength as a student, writer, and feminist is derived from a plethora of sources, not just one. This includes Fat Fetishism. And I believe that while you and I may not see eye to eye on every issue, surely we can be mutually respectful to each other.
I invite each and every one of you to take a look at the blog. And I also invite you to reconsider your thoughts on Feederism. I am happy to answer any questions you might have.
Sincerely,
Amanda
http://feedeeworld.wordpress.com/
Amanda,
Nobody here condones hatred in any form. Go back and reread Elizebeth’s post. It was entirely about how Fat Acceptance is unrelated to feederism. Yes, there are people in Fat Acceptance who are hateful toward feederism, but you never know the source of that disdain. Many fat women have had creepy encounters with feeders online and male feeders have a justifiable reputation of crossing boundaries with regard to their sexual preference. I think guys in general have that tendency, but I think feeders often go after fat women. So, there’s an immediate mistrust, coupled with a desire to distance ourselves from a group that only reinforces the exact stereotypes we’re trying to combat. It’s not that we hate you, so much as you’re the obnoxious kid brother who follows us everywhere and won’t leave us alone.
We don’t care what you do with your own bodies, your own lives, but we also want the world to know that feederism has absolutely nothing to do with Fat Acceptance any more than BDSM or tickling or whatever. As fatties, you are always a part of Fat Acceptance, but as feeders and feedees, you’re in a sexual realm, not a political one.
Finally, I appreciate why you linked to the polls, but as I said in the post, this is a family affair, not a popularity contest. What is the point of adding you to the FFFFeed if the people who subscribe to the feed wouldn’t visit your site anyway?
Or, another idea, as Erin said, you could create a fat sex feed and I’m sure it would be incredibly popular, as fat people are incredibly sexy. I think we’d have to run another poll, but I bet people would support the creation of such a feed, and they aren’t very difficult to create.
Whatever the case, I encourage dialogue on the subject because there is quite a bit of hostility toward feederism, despite being characteristically open-minded about pretty much every other fetish. I think it’s a sensitive subject and people have their reasons for being hostile of association to it, but I know that we are all fighting for you on political and social issues that concerns you.
Peace,
Shannon
As someone with a fetish (tickling) that could possibly even more fringe than feederism (but maybe not), I think it’s important to look at sexuality and how it relates to feminism and, therefore, bodies, and, therefore, fatness. However, I have had some fat related tickling stuff go on in my life and I haven’t written about it because I don’t want to cross any boundaries. My fetish has nothing to do with fat acceptance in general, but my fetish has to do with fat acceptance when it comes to me and my experiences.
I don’t think that demonizing feederism fetish-wise as the exact opposite of FA is a good thing because I don’t believe in demonizing anything anyone chooses to do with THEIR OWN body.
All of that being said, I, personally don’t see a problem with a guest post outlining what the basics of the fetish are and how these women have a feminist take on it. (Which can be difficult to explain, trust me.)
I don’t think this is the place for posts on feederism to become common. I think this should remain a safe place, but, at the same time, open-mindedness is key to having a happier world.
Also, I don’t think it’s fair to ask non-FFF readers to vote for you.
Yes, I saw that too (on the FeedeeWorld blog) and think it’s not a very honest tactic….
Lexie, I changed it to a single vote for the week. I’m not sure if that will help, but it will cut down on enthusiastic outsiders from voting daily.
Peace,
Shannon
Well, I voted… however, I didn’t really care for the “No Fucking Way” choice.
A simple “Not a Good Idea” would have described my vote more accurately.
I feel pretty much the same as the others who have commented so far (about their “no” vote);
sexual fetishes have their place, and in all honesty, this sort of FA site really isn’t it.
This is not a moral judgment on my part, believe me. But we all know that anyone can read these
pages, and among those readers the level of acceptance and non-acceptance, education and ignorance pertaining to FA is very wide ranging.
While the “regulars” here might very well easily distinquish the differences between fat-related sexual fetishes and mainstream fat acceptance — there are too many people out there who can’t, and/or won’t make that distinction. So I feel I have to vote “no”.
I’ve censored the poll, Fab. Although I wonder how you manage to make it through any of my posts.
Peace,
Shannon
I was gonna vote, but since you took out the “no fucking way’ option out, now I can’t.
Sun, I voted the “no fucking way”, even tho I would rather have just been able to vote “no” or “no way”. I would say that if you don’t want the feederism blog on the feed, go ahead and vote your conscience, despite the wording. At least that way, your voice is heard.
It’s a balancing act, Sun.
Peace,
Shannon
It wasn’t the words that kinda set me back (I have been known to curse like a sailor myself)… it was merely the implied ‘attitude’ that didn’t work to describe my particular “no” to the question.
It’s ‘except’, not ‘accept’. Not just a typo - you conveyed a meaning opposite to your intent.
Amanda,
You are using a tactic that is better left to trolls. That is, you’re saying that if we don’t love you, then we hate you. No shades of gray, no nuance. In the FierceFatties article you quoted, Atchka specifically says:
So, as to the fetish itself, so long as both people involved are consenting adults and nobody’s life is endangered, then I’m all for it.
You’ll have to explain how that statement implies hate. I see it as merely live and let live.
By the way, I know feederism is associated with fatness, but why should it necessarily be that way? If the object is to get fatter, there are many ways to do it. You can yo-yo diet. You can take certain drugs - for example, some anti-depressants will pack on 60 pounds or more with hardly any effort. You can subject yourself to more stress and perhaps insomnia.
Eating a lot, in and of itself, is not the most optimal way to keep on extra weight. Some of the world’s most renowned eating champions are rather thin.
Like it or not, sexual practices/fetishes tend to become the face of whatever movement with which they may be associated, and the media takes full advantage of the titillation element to discredit the civil rights factor. Think of racist and classist screeds about miscegenation, “diluting the purity of the blood line”. Think of the furries (people who like to dress in animal costumes). Some of them like to have sex in that guise, therefore they’re ALL perverted, right?
Yes, it is unfortunate that it works out that way. The best thing you can do for your cause is to support fat rights. If fatness can be normalized as being a natural part of human diversity, then consensual feederism will assume its rightful place, analogous perhaps to men who are turned on by women who are both thin and underfed.
I’m usually a reader here at FFF, not a poster. But if folks from a different website are being asked to come here and attempt to skew the vote, I may as well drop my figurative ballot in the electronic box. Done. (Who knows, maybe this will be the impetus for me to participate in the comments…)
Hi Sherry! I love it when our lurkers come out of the shadows! Please vote how you feel. I hope that by giving each person a single vote, it might limit the damage from external influence. So, thanks for voting.
And I hope to read more of your opinions in the future.
Peace,
Shannon
Hello, my name is Mina, and I am a contributor to Feedee World.
I would just like to point out a couple things about adding us to the feed. While I understand your concerns, I still believe that we would make a good addition.
The blog is not entirely about feederism, as we have quite a few posts on issues that deal with fat hatred and various other issues. By adding our blog to the feed, you will likely gain readers who may not have had an interest in fat acceptance issues before, but through a sexual fetish happen to learn a bit more than they expected.
For many involved, feederism is not just a fetish. It can be a whole other form of sexuality in itself. By accepting this blog, you send a message that you accept all fat people regardless of their sexual preferences.
The fat acceptance movement and feederism have had some bad blood between them in the past. We fight for our rights just as you do. Through this logic, we should be working together, and not fighting amongst each other. Most involved in feederism would be supportive of the fat acceptance movement had our reputations not been tarnished by lies.
Our blog, in past posts, has worked to erase prior misconceptions about feederism.
If this blog does end up getting added to the feed, it will hopefully remove some of this past mutual resentment between our groups.
I’m very pleased that we at least have a chance and I thank you for putting this decision to a vote instead of potentially rejecting us outright.
Hey Peeps, just had to weigh in on this one.
Maybe it’s my AS, but after reading Amanda’s post, all that kept coming to me over and over was “The lady doth protest too much.”
I have nothing against sexual fetishism, as long as it is two consenting adults. What you do in the bedroom (or kitchen, or living room, or pantry, or backyard, for that matter.) is your thing. While this is a fat acceptance blog, it is not a sexual fetish blog. Amanda, I can’t speak for others, but I don’t know you, so I don’t hate you. I wish you well, but I do not think your blog is appropriate here. This is not the place for that, just like primary school is no place for alcohol talk or consumption.
Sorry Mina, can’t agree with you. Just because we agree that you have a right to do your thing, that does not mean it needs to be in our ‘house’. I have a neighbor who is a really nice guy, always ready to help anyone with projects. But he’s an anarchist and a conspiracy theorist. I’m willing to talk to him outside all day, even have him in my place of business (I own a recording studio, and he’s a musician.) but that does not mean I want him in my home. I don’t agree with his ideas and politics, and that’s that. Does that mean I have the right to tell him that he can’t think that way? No, this is America, and we do still have that right here. Think of this blog like a home, we live here (some of us more time than others!), and we have the right to be secure and comfortable in our home. I have to agree with Vesta, pretty much word for word.
I don’t agree with the idea of feederism but it is not my place to judge what adults do with their bodies and what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home.
Also, many people in the Fatsosphere are uncomfortable with the idea of fat as a sexual fetish. Our bodies are already ridiculed and stereotypically over-analyzed, I really don’t think we need a feed/fetish site that may continue to perpetuate the myth that we are all over hypersexual nonstop eating machines.
I know that the Fatosphere has been criticized at times for not being diverse and accepting enough but I think we need to have limits. If a blog has already has an established identity and readers know what to expect when they visit, why fix what isn’t broken?
That’s my little take on it.
I don’t think the poll is quite fair if it allows people from their site to vote. I don’t agree with feederism any more than I do with dieting. Please don’t add feeder sites to this feed.
Hi Molly,
I understand, but don’t worry. I think that switching it to a single vote has solved any potential vote rigging. And if more people want it in, we may create a completely separate Fringe feed, which people do seem to support. Just bide your time and trust the process.
Peace,
Shannon
For clarity, I want to ID myself first. I am a lifelong feminist and women’s studies scholar, and I have been involved in fat activism (though not as much as I’d like due to other professional and personal commitments) for many years. I am a longtime reader of many FA blogs, though I am not a member of this particular community.
I think there is a clear political reason for including Feedee World on this feed. The problem is that fatphobia and hatred MAKE the feeding scene uglier than it needs to be. There are women like me who practice, through both fantasy and eating to varying degrees, alone or consensually, based on lifelong fantasies. Many of us have always known our desires this way.
But there ARE women who are drawn into it through low self-esteem. And there are men who practice feeding from an ugly, misogynist perspective.
We need to be part of the fat acceptance movement as much as, if not more than, most-we are not only discriminated against in every other arena of our lives, but in our sexual lives as well. I denied my desires for most of my life, thinking I was a freak and a horror, much like what I’ve read about some pre-Stonewall closeted gay men and lesbians. I finally decided to face my desires and act on them, and I lost an important friendship with a well-known fat activist over it, because she wouldn’t even *allow* me to express my thoughts and boundaries and practices-if it’s feeding, it’s horrific.
The queer and BDSM communities have in fact understood their battles for acceptance as political battles, and I do, too. I think as long as the fat acceptance movement, and each of you who consider yourself a part of it, excludes us, it, and you with it, allow(s) fat hatred to be perpetrated on those who are different than you, who don’t deserve the protection of the community because we are aroused by different things than you.
I would urge each reader, separately from how you vote on Feedee World, to look deep in your hearts and wonder where the room for fat hatred still resides, however small and hidden. We, too, are worthy of the liberation you seek for yourselves.
Wasn’t your co-blogger, Proud FA, banned from a feederism website for being a troll? I’m sorry, but we do not share the same values of the Bigger Fatter Blog (which I believe is bad publicity for the idea of feederism).
It’s blogs like yours that give us a bad reputation that we are fighting to remove.
Bigger Fatter Blog is a spoof site set up to make fat people look bad, essentially. The owner and real person behind the various characters and commenters who post there — Fat Bastard, Proud FA, The Chef, Etc. and just about every commenter on any thread- is a brain-damaged and perhaps semi-sane 56-yr-old HVAC engineer named Chris G. Brady from Jacksonville NC who hates fat people and who especially hates feederism.
Thank you for getting that we are not like them. *hugs* Makes me feel a little better.
Totally agreed. I think everyone across the Fat Community knows who they are, and it’s insulting to be asked to join them. Fortunately, it’s just for form’s sake-they know full well that they are despised in the feeding world as they are in the FA community.
Interesting that I had trouble writing that sentence. It’s clear to me that the feeding and FA communities overlap, but not completely. There are some really unhelpful people on the edges of both… but to be honest, more than a bit worse on the feeding side. Very sad.
if we remove the fetish part and it was just girls who want to gain weight because they think being big is more beautiful site would as many of you still think it doesnt belong? i will be the first to admit feederism and fat acceptance really dont have anything to do with each other, other then feedees’s tend to be fat and need the support. were not claiming to be prefect role models but from the posts it seems like the readers from this site and the writes assume that all people in the feederism fetish are negative fat stereotypes and all we care about is the fetish. it seems like alot of are only helping further the stereotypes, many of you said no because we would only hurt your image or we have undesirables in the community. but thats the problem right there people only hear about them no one hears about the doctor with a ph.D with a wife that loves him and wishs to be fed. feederism will always be tied to the fat accpentnce movement whether you like it or not, and not helping us will only hurt you because no oen will hear about the good people in to feederism, and the media will shit on you more because of our fetish. we both can gain from our friendship, or we can keep a part and fight alone.
it seems to me alot of you care more about how you look then supporting others with different views, which is really ironic.
I can hardly speak for this blog since I am mostly a lurker here. But from my perspective I can tell you that, yes, I totally would have a problem with girls who want to gain weight because they think being big is beautiful. Or better, I would not have a problem with these girls as people, but I would have a problem with having a blog about their aim to gain weight being a part of a fat acceptance feed.
I oppose diet talk, i.e. deliberate-weight-loss talk. I also oppose weight gain talk. And while I will admit that at a visceral level I might feel more negative about deliberate weight gain than about dieting, and while I will have some self-reflection to do in order to find out why that is, I do not think that my personal opinion that deliberately gaining or losing weight are inappropriate topics for a fat acceptance space is in any way unreasonable.
Note that this is different from not wanting people to talk about eating whatever they want in general: There is a huge difference between eating for deliberate weight change in any direction and eating for, well, taking in energy and nutrients as well as enjoying food. If you would have asked if I would have a problem with food playing a part in some people’s sexual expressions without the deliberate goal of weight gain my answer would probably be somewhat different… although I do not really have a clearly defined opinion on that yet.
Also, I am personally convinced that very high weight and very low weight CAN become a health issue in at of itself at the very extremes. That does not mean that I think people have a “moral obligation” to change their weight. I also do not think that people who are thin and want to lose weight or who are fat and want to gain weight deserve derision. And frankly, since deliberate weight change has its own risks I am not even convinced that promoting weight loss for fat people and/ or weight gain for thin people is equal to promoting health – in fact, I believe that it isn’t. However, BECAUSE I think that weight change in either direction has its own health risks and because in case of fat people who gain more weight and thin people who lose more weight this actually adds to the health risks of preexisting extreme weights I feel even less comfortable to support deliberate weight gain than deliberate weight loss in fat people.
(Hm. Does that last paragraph make any sense to anyone but me?)
One of the oh-so-many things that anti-feeding folk have wrong is that it’s all about actual physical weight gain. In fact, the number of people in our community *actually* gaining weight is a small percentage. There is every shade of activity, from pure fantasy, to occasional food orgies, to swelling and inflation and liquid bloating, and so on. It’s incredibly sad to me that people fighting against such awful stereotypes about fat people are willing to have uninformed stereotypes about feeding.
As for not understanding us, perhaps trying on the gender/sexuality metaphor will help here. The feminist community had to struggle to work out how to balance the different perspectives and needs of lesbians and straight women, and then trans women and gender queers and drag kings and so on. Each of those groups is not the same as any of the others, nor are they separable. And as a straight feminist with a semi-closeted fetish, I would feel diminished without the presence of ltq women in feminism, no matter how little I understand of their desires.
I have wanted my body to grow larger since I was a small child. I have never been without this desire. I responded sexually to fat and to gaining loooong before I understood sexuality. I’m not asking anyone to share that, or to understand it. I’m asking you all to *respect* it, and *include* us. Because we are part of your family, whether you want to keep us locked outside in the backyard with the animals, or let us into the warmth of your kitchen.
Just wanted to say: I specifically replied to a comment mentioning “girls wanting to gain weight”. Maybe I falsely interpreted “wanting to gain weight” as actually “trying to gain weight” while I guess it could also be “wanting but not acting on it”, but in that case the original commenter also could have been clearer.
Also, please note that I for one do not try to exclude you from the community as individuals. I just do not feel comfortable having a blog/ blogs dedicated to feederism on the feed.
Oh, one more thing: While I would not want a blog dedicated to feederism added to the feed I actually would not necessarily oppose a guest post from a feeder or feedee concerning their reasons for engaging in feederism as long as it does not glorify that kind of behavior. I do not understand the idea at feederism at all - it is a concept that feels incredibly alien to me - and I honestly would like to understand it better.
sannanina,
I’m talking to a woman named Molly Ren who has a Tumblr about feederism (she is a feeder). She’s fairly moderate in her views and I think would provide an interesting guest post on the subject. So, we may have something about this in the future.
Peace,
Shannon
I’m sorry I don’t understand. If you are a Feederist, that is in favor of being open with your Fat Sexulity, how can you *not* glorify* Feederism when writing about it? We can be neutral certainly, but we are still biased in favor of Feederism. And would you read the post anyway, knowing that?
JJ,
The more you post and “defend” your position, the more I find your words condescending and manipulative. To equate your relatively tiny minority interest - Feederism - to a world wide Social Movement - Feminism - is pretty ballsy (for lack of a better term).
First off, I am a staunch Feminist; Old School, ’70′s Feminist. Feminism means allowing individual women the freedom to make CHOICES, about every single aspect of their lives and bodies. Always meant that, always will.
To (strongly and repeatedly) imply that any “Real Feminist” would see the wisdom and Feminist Righteousness in allowing your Fetish blog to link to this FA site, is really quite the stretch. And insultingly manipulative.
Also, as another FFF member said; it is unfair to equate ANY “no vote” you get here with “hating” on you or your fetish group. How about you assume that any No vote made here is made with forethought and due consideration, and not based on “hate” or any sort of emotionally charged, out-of-hand rejection?
I’ll start out with a couple things: first and foremost I’ll introduce myself as the third co-author to Feedee World, joining the party a tad late. Secondly I’m going to try hard not to repeat things that have already been said, offend anyone, or do anything that is inherently “Against the Rules.” I saw earlier that sannanina had stated she wanted to learn more about feederism and wouldn’t be opposed to having one of us do guest posts. I’d like very much to link back to my very first post on Feedee World as I think it is tenderly written for those who count feederism as uncharted waters. However since the debate here is whether or not to give us a link, I’ll refrain and just hope that those curious enough will wander and find it on their own.
While I know Amanda would love for our blog to have a link from your site - I’ve been out of the loop for a while so I wasn’t aware of this debate until recently. I’m aware of all of the arguments against putting our blog here - and in fact went through many of the same arguments when deciding if I should even write for the blog or not. To be quite honest, I’m actually indifferent to this site linking us. I don’t know if that helps or hinders us, it’s just how I feel.
When deciding if I should co-author Feedee World, I asked myself what it would accomplish, what the point of the blog was, and whether or not it was something I wanted my name tacked to. I am well traveled over the internet and use the same username at pretty much every forum. Just from knowing Amanda and Mina a short while and having several discussions with them, I knew that their blog was not going to be like other feedee blogs in the black hole of the internet. It’s not featuring gratuitous sex scenes from our love lives, we’re not chronicling our weight gain, in fact the topic of weight gain - for a “feedee” blog does not pop up as often as you’d imagine. I think what our blog has to offer is that it is a chance to clear up any misconceptions about feederism (trust me there are many). There is definitely a separation between Fat Acceptance and what I’ll call Fat Appreciation, however the latter can not really exist without the former. Even if I were just a fat girl with no desire to gain, my boyfriend is attracted to fat girls. Slide Meghan Fox in front of him and she might as well be a dude because that is the level of attraction he’d have for her. He doesn’t see it as a fetish, it’s just what he’s attracted to. And for the record, he’s not a “feeder”. There are men and women out there who feel alienated and isolated for liking what they like. Fat Acceptance is only part of the process for them. They want to know that they are ok for being attracted to us! We at Feedee World all understand the struggles that the Fat Acceptance Movement faces every day - because we fight that struggle every day and Amanda wanting a link to our site is really more of a request to throw our hat in the ring. We don’t want to hinder the community or push boundaries or do anything to stifle Fat Acceptance because it’s our struggle too!
Are there crazy feederism fetishists out there who give us all a bad rep and sputter utter nonsense without knowing when to shut up (Akin to the crazy conspiracy theorist neighbor)? Yeah. I’ve encountered many of them and shake my head in disappointment every time they open their mouth. Do any of them write for Feedee World? Not a chance in hell. But are there educated, well informed people who take the time to get involved and make thoughtful and sincere posts (which by thumbing through the many resources posted here I can see that is what you are all about!) Yes. We’re not sputtering a bunch of perverted things. I can’t speak for Mina or Amanda, but all of my posts are well thought out and written to help those in a state of self hatred come to love the body they’re in. Even though feederism is often portrayed as an eating disorder - fat women who think they are too skinny and thus stuff themselves to gain weight - it’s often far from what feederism actually is in real life. I love my body and my reason for writing what I write is so that hopefully someone can read it and understand that the next time someone tells them “You are too fat for that!” they can shrug it off with confidence and understand that the person is dead wrong.
I realize this is a novel so to those who’ve made it through - thanks for hearing my two cents!
Anyways,
Grr. Hit the post button too soon -
Anyways, I think it would be extremely fair for you to have Amanda do a few guests posts, just so everyone can see what the quality of the blog is like.
I read about feederism and that gainer stuff. There is a woman named Donna Simpson who is doing it. I think it is disgusting! I’d never do that to my family. I lost my mother when I was 7.
I also read about what men do to these women. It’s criminal! If some creep ever tried something like that with one of my daughters I’d kill him right on the spot.